Merging is a New Journey - Happy Memories Part 3 (aka There is a tree!)

 So, first week of Advent in a new place.

Wasn't sure what to expect or how I would react since I have been known to be an emotional crazy person lately.  (Says the girl crying at organ postludes.)

Amazingly, I kept most of my emotions in check.  (Though I think some are starting to show more...in church and outside of church...)

Anyway...

UMC of Wappingers; Advent 2019

 
This is the view I have known for so many (many) years at Advent.  Well, mostly.  For those familiar with the Wappingers sanctuary at Advent and Christmas, you will know that usually in the right-hand side there was also a Chrismon Tree, which is absent here.  The huge tree (12 feet high) is missing because it became difficult to assemble for the few that remained.  So, last year, there was no tree.  I feel like the sanctuary still looked nice, but people missed the tree.  However, for those of us who were there, it would have been difficult to put together so while it was missed, it was something that did need to go based on person-power.

Fast forward to 2020.  I know, most people would want to fast forward through 2020.  But, we don't have that luxury.

PUMC: Advent 2020

There is a tree!  A statement I made that Anastasia keeps repeating.  And I think she is very glad to have a tree this year.  Plus it doesn't seem as massive as the tree we had.  (By the way, I took this photo and a few others between the service and the start of the State of the Church time so I didn't look like the crazy photo-taker when people were doing things up front.)

Advent continues on, whether there is a tree in the sanctuary or not.  But, I am glad to not have gotten the ton of scratches from fluffing artificial tree and garland branches.  Advent continues on, even with being in a new place for this season and potential changes in things coming.  I look forward to the remaining time of Advent, and I am trying not to be too anxious because that kind of defeats the purpose of waiting with Hope, Peace, Love, and Joy.

Thursday Thoughts - Thankfulness

 

A break between turkey prep and the rest of dinner prep - Thanksgiving 2020

Today is Thanksgiving.  And I thought for today's blog entry, I'd talk about some of the things I am thankful for.

• Being able to have such faith in God and knowing that I am loved no matter what.
  
• Family & friends - those near and far, those I have stayed connected with and those I have reconnected with.
• A roof over my head, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, places to sit, clothes to wear, a car to get to and from work, and so many other things like that.
• A job that remained steady even during the midst of the pandemic and bosses who I work well with and am grateful for every day.
• My pup Sparkle, though she doesn't let me rest in the evening and I spend more time outside in the cold with her than inside - especially in the fall/winter.
• My increasing cooking ability.
• My church family, as it started in 2020 and how it is now in 2020.
• The musicians at PUMC for igniting my love of music, especially organ music, once again.
• Feelings that make me happy and nervous at the same time.
• Laughing.
• Singing.
• Smiling.
• Being able to sit with a good book or a yarn project (crochet or knit).
• Getting out more for hikes/walks.
  
• And being able to share some of what I am thankful for in a blog post.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving...and though today is a day when some people typically focus on what they are thankful for, it is also something we should remember every day.

Merging is a New Journey - Happy Memories (Part 2)

During my time in choir at WUMC, I learned a very strange thing, which is also a happy memory.

I like to sing in other languages.

I'm not sure anyone else really liked it though.

Every once and awhile we would sing a single song that had words that were hard to pronounce.  But there was a point in time where we got to sing some really fun (according to me) pieces like Vivaldi's Gloria and Benjamin Britten's Ceremony of Carols.

Gloria was written in Latin.  Ceremony of Carols was written in mostly Middle English.  Both difficult to learn.  Both things I really, really enjoyed learning and singing.

It opened my eyes (and ears) to music that I probably would not have otherwise known or cared about.  And in this time of rediscovering music that I love, I'm also finding copies of these pieces I haven't thought much about or even sung in so many years.

I know that there were times when my fellow choir members struggled learning the words, especially the Middle English.  (I was pretty good at it because by then I had read through some of Chaucer's work in Middle English already so I was familiar with how things were said.)  But we got through it and made the music sing.  OH!  And we did Ceremony of Carols accompanied by a HARP!  Which was really cool.

Many of my happy memories are those surrounding music, as you could probably tell.  Though those times long faded away and my time in choir came to an end as I wound up doing other things, I was blessed by that time of fellowship and song.  And maybe someday in the future I will have that again.

The Chrismon Tree - WUMC Advent 2014

P.S. - I can't forget Rutter's Requiem which combines Latin and English!  Also another good piece!

Thursday Thoughts - Thank You Friends!

 Last week I wrote what I thought was a heart-felt blog entry about how I was feeling about my own life related to Hallmark Christmas movies.  It felt good for me to write it, especially with some of the stuff that has been running around in my head, especially as I sleep (or try to sleep).

I felt like I wasn't getting any traction on that entry, or any of the other entries I have been making to this blog.  I mean, I'm not writing to get thousands of hits or hundreds of comments either on the blog itself or anywhere else where the blog is posted.  But, it seemed instead I got nothing.  So I stated the following, "Sometimes I wonder if anyone cares about the words I write....and if it is even worth it to share what may be on other people's minds too......Or it isn't because I'm the only one with those thoughts and I just write them for myself...."

I wasn't saying it for people to feel sorry for me and comment.  I just was truly feeling frustrated because it seems some people on my friends list get great responses but if I said or did the same exact thing, I'd get nothing or be told "You need to be better than that" (which I have been told before when it comes to personal things).

And to be honest, I actually didn't think anyone would say or do anything with the comment because I post so many pictures and share things and make statements that don't get comments or "likes" I figured this would be another one of those posts.

But my friends surprised me.  I had several comments.  I had such love on that post.  I had people reach out individually to support me and make sure I was okay.

My friends, I am so grateful for what you mean to me.  I am grateful that you took the time to read my post, or look at a picture, or read a blog entry.  I am so blessed to have you in my life.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I will still be me and still post when I want to post and continue series even when people think I should stop.  But this experience has also taught me to be more cognizant of my own friends posts and make sure I try to comment or express a like (or a laugh or a love or a care or whatever other emotion there is) on their posts.

Sunrise at the Underpass - Marist College - July, 2017

Merging is a New Journey - Happy Memories (Part 1)

 I thought to continue the series I would take a trip down my own personal memory lane.

There was an annual tradition at Wappingers, which in reality was a bit out of season.  But, I'm seasonally confused, so who I was I to argue?  Anyway, from the very start of my family's attending church, every year on the day of the Sr. Choir cantata, for the end of the service as a sung benediction, we always sang Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus."  Everyone from the congregation was invited to go up and sing and I have such great memories of this time.

Even before I started singing with the Sr. Choir, I went up to be part of this.  The first time because I think someone encouraged me to go up.  But times after that I went up because it was such a fun thing to do.  A lot of people just went up to sing, not because they sang in professional groups but because it was a time of fellowship through music.  Some people who are purists may think it is terrible to get a bunch of people together who hadn't practiced the song together to sing it.  But, you know, "Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!" - Psalm 150:6 (NRSV)

The trick was having whoever was playing the song play it at the right tempo so that the song didn't start to drag.  This was easier to do on the piano, but with so many people at times singing, it was hard to hear the music.  The organ was louder, but you had to be able to play the song slightly faster than you thought was appropriate because there was a bit of a delay between the keys being played and the sound coming out of the pipes.  I always preferred the organ because it sounded better, but that was where the song got draggy depending on who was playing.

However, over time, this tradition faded away.  At first the choir got smaller.  And then the people willing to come up to sing got smaller.  Then the choir stopped doing cantatas and the tradition faded away.  It is kind of hard to sing that song without having some representation of all 4 parts at the same time.

Though there is a bit of sadness, I prefer to remember all the good times associated with the song.  As a kid, it was one of my earliest forays into reading music written for 4 parts at the same time, plus accompaniment.  It was an early appreciation for classical music and Handel's Messiah as a whole.  It was a fun time singing with so many different people in church, of all ages.  It helped when we sang it one year in high school chorus because I had sung it with choir so many times I already had it memorized.  (But it was because of high school chorus I learned easier ways to sing the words which I continued to use in church - Thanks Polly!!)  I found over time I liked to bounce back and forth between the soprano and alto parts.  It became one of the first songs I sang lots of high notes and learned I could do that (before I broke my voice, which I am working on restoring).  

Maybe the fact that we let such a tradition fade as it did was a sign of things to come.  Or maybe it was just a sign of change.  The memories I have, amazingly, do not make me sad.  But they have been coming back as I have been listening to more and more of that type of music.  Plus PUMC's version that was used for an Easter service is on my "Listening Videos" playlist on YouTube, so I've been hearing it often.

Stay tuned...next week I think I'll talk about Happy Memories with singing songs that weren't in English.

Best Song Ever - The Last Congregationally Song Sung at WUMC in March, 2020

Thursday Thoughts - Why No Hope for Me Hallmark Christmas Movies?

 

Me with my 1st Peppermint Mocha of the Season

 

That is me.  I have gotten braver with the selfies.  I used to hate them and would only post them when they included someone else (usually my niece) because who is going to throw shade at a picture of me with a cute kid?  But that is what I look like.

The Hallmark Christmas movies are on again and they are a staple in our house when we aren't watching local news, Jeopardy, or Wheel of Fortune.  Some movies we have seen so many times we know the plots forward and backward and make jokes through the entire movie (I'm looking at you Christmas Card!).   Some movies I get angry with because people do things that just bother me (yes, any time someone looks at someone else's mobile device to find something out is a terrible plot line.)

I feel one of the points of the movies is to provide hope.  Hope at Christmas. Hope for happiness.  Hope for love.  But, it seems to be hope for only two specific groups of people, good looking guys and pretty looking females.  No hope for someone who looks like me.

I specify "who looks like me" because many of the female stars who are used each year in movies are around the same age as me.  So, yes there is hope for 40-something females.  But none who look like me.

So Hallmark, why is there no hope for someone who looks like me?  The closest to even seeing someone who looked a bit like me was Ashley Fink in "A Merry Christmas Match."  This is not anything against her, because I really enjoy her acting!  But, it was obvious her character had a crush on the character that would wind up with the pretty girl at the end of the movie and she would not have her own happy ending in the movie, though everyone else did.

I am sure others have their own stories of how Hallmark Christmas movies don't represent them.  Maybe this is all bothering me so much this year because I'm at a point where I really do not want to be alone for the rest of my life and I pretty much will be.  Maybe because of the pandemic there does not seem to be a way to even consider a relationship, though now I have more time then when I was busy getting degree after degree.

While I love seeing some of my favorite Hallmark stars in new movies every year, I just wish I'd see someone get their happy ending who looks a little more like me for once, just to give me a glimmer of hope.

Merging is a New Journey - Anticipation and Hope of What is to Come (Musically)

Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp!  Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!  Praise him with clanging cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!  Let everything that breathes praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord!  -Psalm 150:3-6 (NRSV)

  

Just the sun while out one day...

When I started this week, I fully expected to NOT have an installment of the "Merging is a New Journey" series.  First, I have already started to collect my writings for my full "booklet" or whatever I am going to call it so anything else I write I have to remember to add in.  Second, well, nothing really exciting happened so I figured, okay, I won't write for this series this week.

But then I was listening to a playlist in my car on the way to work.  One of the songs, a little early for some people, was an organ rendition of "O Come All Ye Faithful."  The power of the music gave me inspiration for a new thought in this series.  So, yes, now I am writing something.

As I listened to "O Come All Ye Faithful" and other organ tunes in my playlist, I was suddenly overcome with great anticipation and hope for the coming church seasons and the songs to be heard either live or online played on the PUMC organ.  I have to say, we have THE BEST organ players at PUMC.  Sure, everyone probably says that about their own church organists.  But I have been truly blessed by the music I have heard.  So, I all of a sudden, got this excited feeling about hearing Advent and Christmas hymns.  At tempo!  With the joy those songs should have!

But it got worse.  Because in the same playlist I have multiple versions of All Hail the Power of Jesus Name (Diadem version), which I have come to realize is like the song I feel connects me most to God.  So then I got to thinking about all the songs I love during Lent and on Palm Sunday and on Easter and how they would sound on the organ at church.

It may seem like I am rushing the church seasons, so says the seasonally confused individual, but I choose to view it as anticipation and hope of what is to come.  Every week I am blessed by being able to praise God through music.  I may not be able to sing each week, due to COVID restrictions.  But hearing music and singing songs in my head has come to be the way I am able to praise God.

So from the music perspective, I wait with great anticipation and hope to hear familiar songs and unfamiliar ones and to continue to be joyful in my praise through words and prayer and Scripture and music.

Thursday Thoughts - Seasonally Confused

This thought has really been going through my head a lot for the past few weeks.  Because when I think about it, sometimes I feel like I am truly Seasonally Confused.  I have been contemplating whether I should write about this or not, and after a hilarious group text discussion with my friends from high school about when one should start with all the Christmas (after Halloween or after Thanksgiving?) I knew that was a sign that I needed to write today's "Thursday Thoughts" series on this.

Me on Sunday 11/1/2020

So, this is obviously a selfie of me.   I took this selfie on Sunday with my Sunday outfit on.  A new dress that I bought on clearance...that had no sleeves with a 3/4 sleeve cover up.  And that is where part of my confusion about seasons begins.  Because while everyone is saying we have "sweater weather" I am still going to work in short sleeved shirts (and feeling fine!).  When I preached, I routinely wore dressy tank tops or sleeveless dresses no matter what the weather was outside because I always got so warm!  Even at church now, on the 2 days I stood in front of people singing I wore a sleeveless dress with a light coverup because it was cold outside but I knew at some point I might start to overheat.  I have always been like this.

I am still wearing my "summer shoes" to work, church, and other places.  They are so comfortable and are good "no sock shoes" but are still acceptable for work because my toes are not exposed.  Only one really cold day did I wear my warmer shoes with socks to work.  A few times I have worn sneakers on a weekend with short socks.   Even though it is November, I refuse to stop wearing these comfortable shoes because my feet are still fine.

And don't get me started on music.  I listen to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra year-round.  Yes, they have a few albums that are not Christmas-based, but that is the type of music they are known for.  So, it is not out of character to hear me listening to Christmas Canon or Wizards of Winter or Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 at any point in the year, even in August!  Currently in my car I am doing a regular rotation of organ versions of songs heard around Holy Week like Faure's The Palms, All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name (Diadem version!), and Christ the Lord is Risen today.  I also recently added Advent and Christmas music including O Come All Ye Faithful and Angels We Have Heard on High.

So I have learned that I am Seasonally Confused.  And that is just a part of who I am.

Merging is a New Journey - My Church Family

 "Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NRSV)

 We are almost at a year from when we had the official vote to accept the merger agreement.  Though that was not the start of the process (it began many months prior to this) it was the beginning of "the end" so to speak.  There were bumps in the road, most notably the stoppage of all in-person worship services in mid-March which led to us postponing our official merger service until July.

Anastasia and I at our first official service at PUMC

Before July I had been attending worship most Sundays via YouTube or Zoom at PUMC, and even though some of the names seemed familiar, I felt welcomed but a bit of a disconnect.  Once we merged, most Sundays I have been attending in-person worship, started to recognize mask-covered faces and voices, felt welcomed, but there was still a disconnect.

This past week PUMC had their Charge Conference via Zoom, and for the first time I looked at a screen full of faces and saw My Church Family.  Not the congregation members I was merged into.  Not people who I sort of knew from here or there.  My Church Family.

I don't know how the rest of the people from Wappingers are feeling.  But I can honestly say, something has changed in the last few weeks that made me feel like I was part of PUMC and not someone who simply came in from a merger.

It is strange, though, because I am normally a very introverted person.  Talking to people I don't really know is not something I like to do.  I'd rather stand back and observe.  Or stand with a group and observe and listen.  Or admire from afar.  When I took the selfie above with my niece, I fully expected to be away from things for awhile.

Yet, here I am now...seeing My Church Family at a church meeting.  Learning more about people in My Church Family.  Being in a small group with some people from My Church Family.  Singing and worshiping with My Church Family.  Opening my mouth and not being afraid to say things that are slightly embarrassing to people in My Church Family.  Just being me with My Church Family.

It obviously has taken a long time for me to get to this point.  Maybe it would have been shorter had we not been in a pandemic which caused such strangeness even after the completion of the merger.  I know there will still be new paths for me to follow in this journey, so I hesitate to say that this series is over.  But I feel like I am in a good place now.  (And soon I might begin on my project to put this series together as one person's thoughts on the process for others who went through, or are going through or will be going through the same thing.)