Thursday Thoughts - The Class of 2020

I wasn't blogging too regularly when I completed my coursework in May, 2020 to receive an MBA with a concentration in Ethical Leadership.  But I did write a blog about it, if you are interested.  I Am an MBA Grad

At the time Marist, or rather President Murray, promised there would be a celebration for the Class of 2020 when it was safe to do so once again.  This Saturday, May 28, 2022, will be that long-awaited celebration.

The sign my sister had made in 2020

So here I sit, on a Thursday, with Saturday just a couple days away, thinking about this day of celebration that is coming.

Does it seem a little silly to be excited about something that happened two years ago?  Maybe.  I have already received my degree.  It sits in an envelope in my room.  The celebration is for the entire Class of 2020, so graduate students, traditional undergraduate students, and adult students.  Maybe I'll be the only one from my program who shows up?  I hope not!

Sometimes I feel awkward saying "Thank you!" to those who wish me "Congratulations!" because I finished what seems so long ago.

But then I remember the struggles it took to finish out the program.

Luckily it was already an online program so I didn't have to adjust to learning in a new way like many other students did.  But, I had a decent routine at work where after work I would stay some days to get through some reading or working on an assignment or whatever else I needed to do for class.  When I was home all the time, I didn't have that opportunity.  I had to find ways to adjust.  Sparkle was the biggest challenge to all this.  She was THRILLED to have me home all the time.  And a dog who has to know where I am when I am home and be there with me 99.99% of the time was now with me from the time I got up until the time I went to bed.  So trying to find quiet time to work on things was difficult.  As the days got nicer I could let her outside for awhile.  But soon it got too hot to work in my room with the door closed.  But, we made it work.  I got through the last class.  I graduated.  Though it was a quiet and more personal celebration.

Now here I head into Saturday.  A day where I will celebrate the accomplishments of graduating during a pandemic with all the other Marist Class of 2020 members.  All together.  With my family present.

My bestie Jess asked me a couple weeks ago if I was excited.  And at the time, I wasn't really.  In my mind was getting through the Class of 2022 Commencements where I was working.  But once the ceremony was done last Saturday, I started to get excited.  I was still mulling over some things that were causing me a bit of stress.  But I can say, as of today, I am excited!

I am the Class of 2020 and I can't wait to hear the words, "Class of 2020, dismissed!"

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Contemplating Breathing

I have been attending our 8am Contemplative worship service at church Sunday mornings.  It is a half-hour service where we start out with soft music as we enter the space, and then we continue to listen to music while we contemplate something quietly on our own.  This week was breathing or getting a breath.

Now, at first I laughed to myself because there we all were, sitting in a room with our masks on talking about getting a breath or breathing.  No, I'm not one of those people who sits there and says that wearing a mask keeps us from breathing properly.  But, it does change how one breathes in a sense.

But then I got to thinking about the space I was in.  Church.  And how, when I inhaled through my nose, I could smell nothing.  Yes, I know, we were talking about breathing and I went to smelling.  But you can breathe through both your mouth and your nose.

Here is where I am going with this.  Over the past 6 months or so, I have had the phantom smell of cigarette smoke.  It is usually triggered by an oncoming migraine or more than likely stress.  It makes a lot of things less enjoyable.  Sometimes the smell is so bad it actually triggers a headache.  Or a stomach ache. It makes me feel awful sometimes.

However, church has become one of the few places where I do not get this phantom smell.  So when I am at church, even with a mask on, I tend to breathe more deeply.  It is so nice to be able to smell flowers or food or coffee or perfume or aftershave or hand location or whatever else people put on themselves.  And it is even nice to smell NOTHING.

So when I contemplate about breathing or just taking a breath, I think about when I do that, through my nose, and can smell all that is around me that I am supposed to be smelling.  And I thank God when that happens because I then feel a sense of normalcy that God has given me and I can get through the rest of my day.

The sky Sunday morning 5/22/22

Thursday Thoughts - Repurposed Again

The Repurposed Dress

Some of you may have seen this picture before.  It was a dress I bought in 2020 that I planned to wear on Easter, that didn't happen.  I wound up wearing it for our merger services in July 2020, when I first felt this dress was repurposed.  I may have worn it other times, but the next time I wore it that was a significant event was the merger of PUMC with Bangall.

And now I have found a new reason to wear this dress.

Commencement for the Class of 2020, which will be happening on Saturday, May 28th.

I thought about getting a new dress.  But I would need something dark, in case the regalia (black) bleeds into my clothes.  I'd rather wear something dark or black in that case.  Sitting out in the morning in the (hopefully) sun.

So I thought this dress, instead of always being known as the "Merger Dress" to me could now also be repurposed as a "Celebration Dress" as, two years later, I get to celebrate receiving my MBA.

I feel like I also continue to be repurposed, at work and in church.  Sometimes I am seeking those opportunities, other times they just find me, and yet other times I am asked to be part of a repurposing event.  And that definitely is not a bad thing.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Taking Time for Discipleship

To regular readers of my blog, yes I missed my Thursday Thought.  It was one crazy day at work that started at 4:30am and it just kept going until I left.  So I'm sorry.

But today I'm talking about Discipleship.

Starting at Lent our church started a focus on Discipleship.  There are opportunities on Sunday mornings, Monday mornings, Thursday mornings, and Saturday mornings.  For someone who works, weekday mornings are difficult.  And on Sundays, I wind up focusing on music so I'm not able to do the Sunday morning stuff.

But, every once and awhile when I can figure it out, I can do the Saturday opportunity, which is a Saturday Spiritual Stroll.

Me on this weekend's Spiritual Stroll (5/14/22)

Every week is a different place in the area.  This past Saturday we went to my favorite walking space, Locust Grove.  And while we didn't walk all the trails due to time (plus the trails don't open until 10am and that meant we pushed our start time back an hour and a half) it was still a nice day to walk around the gardens and the outside of the Morse house and talk about how it was with our soul and some of the things going on in Methodism.

Since I have a few other things I need to get done on Saturdays, it is hard for me to go every week.  But the time that I do spend with others strolling in this way has really been invigorating to me.  And the days that I am not able to go, I try to get out somewhere to contemplate things on my own.  It isn't the same, but I find that it is a time that I do get closer to God even though I am by myself.

The walks are never too strenuous and we kind of go at the pace that everyone can handle.  So it is for everyone!  And it is such a great group of people who gets together each week.

If you are interested and you're not sure how to find out more information, let me know and I'll point you in the right direction.

I am kind of sad because I will be missing the next stroll because I'm working Commencement.  The following week, since it is Memorial Day weekend, we have an opportunity to stroll on our own.  I can't do Saturday early because I will be celebrating my postponed Commencement.  But I might take a stroll Saturday evening.  Or even Sunday evening.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - The Former Building

On Thursday after taking care of a few things at church before rehearsing for Sunday music, I stopped in a hallway to take a look at this picture:

A painting of the former UMC of Wappingers

I mentioned to someone how looking at the photo makes me sad sometimes.  But, as I was taking some time for myself and walking on Saturday early evening, I realized why it makes me sad.

It is not because I miss being part of that church.  Well, there are parts I miss, but what I mean is that I am very happy and at home where I am now.

It is always said that the church is not the building.  And it isn't.  But I am finding myself at times missing the building.  Very strange for someone who is a proponent that the church is not the building.  But the building holds so many memories.

Every once and awhile I have a dream about pulling up in front of the building to get ready for something.  Sometimes it is an event in the Fellowship Hall.  Sometimes it is a Yard Sale.  And sometimes it is just to be there.  

I remember things I did when I was a kid, like rolling under the pews, playing Sardines, or performing small musicals essentially.

I remember confirmation and rededicating my life to Christ.

I remember my first sermon.  Where I gave it.  How I felt.  I remember my last sermon and the tears that flowed.

I remember the kids singing the "Mother" song on Mother's Day, that could almost become the "Moth Song" if there weren't enough kids who wanted to flip letters to spell M-O-T-H-E-R.  And no matter how many years in a row we would hear that song (and we heard it a lot), it was always so adorable the kids singing and flipping letters and how the congregation would react.

I remember turning off the lights in the sanctuary for the last time.  The last walk through of the building.  Walking away from the building.

The church is not the building.  But the building holds so many memories.  But what is good about memories is that I don't have to let them go.  I just need to not think of them in a sad way.  I need to think of them in a positive light, as positive steps to get me to where I am today.

I know someday I will be able to look at that painting and think, "That is how I got here" and not be so sad about it.  But, it just wasn't Thursday.  Maybe soon.

Thursday Thoughts - Psalm 121 (and the musical hunt)

 

I shared this last night at our monthly Church Council meeting and thought it would be a nice blog entry. The other entry I was working on isn’t ready and I have a bit more thought and planning needed so, maybe next week!

The other day one of the scripture verses sent to my email box was Psalm 121: 1-2, “I lift up my eyes to the hills – from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”

This bit of scripture took my brain back.  Way back.  Back to senior year in high school.  When I had somehow been selected to be part of a state women’s choral group that I didn’t remember applying to sing with.  I think someone I know had a hand in that.

So, when I was looking for scripture inspiration for today’s devotional, I came back to Psalm 121.  Specifically, trying to find a song that I knew I had sung in the women’s choral group while a senior in high school.  My brain knew the tune a bit.  But you can’t quite Google a tune.  I had a very, very vague recollection of the words.  But, do you know how many songs there are out there based on Psalm 121?

This hunt led me down quite the rabbit hole of music searching and videos Tuesday late afternoon.  And more memories of another song I sang with the same group, like “Father William” which was a setting by Irving Fine based on Lewis Carroll’s poem, “You Are Old, Father William.”  I also discovered a song that I can’t remember where I sang it, but it came from Mendelssohn’s Elijah, “He watching over Israel.”  And this morning…yes literally this morning at 10:20am I found from the same piece, “Lift thine eyes,” women’s arrangement of the song I had been hunting for.

Now I bet you are wondering what the rabbit hole down my crazy musical past has to do with Church or Church Council.

It gave me the opportunity to reflect on Psalm 121, more than just the two verses I read the other day in my email as almost just a regular task that I do because it is in my email.  It really got me to pause, even amid the crazy rabbit hole, on what Psalm 121 was saying. 

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—from where will my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore.”  I know I have read this Psalm several times, and I know in January I read it through at least twice.  But how awesome are those words?

But isn’t that sometimes like our meetings?  Or even doing something at church?  We may be busy with preparing for a service or a meal or an event or a study, sharing a report, or preparing to lead a meeting.  And someone says something after contemplating scripture.  Or someone reads a particular scripture, one we never paid much attention to or one we have heard a thousand times before.  Or we hear a hymn or song that brings up a memory.  And it immediately makes us stop and want to spend some time on that.

Sometimes we need to stop and take that time to contemplate what God is putting before us.  I haven’t thought about those songs I mentioned nor that singing event in at least 20 years.  Now I’ve got songs stuck in my head.  But I also have a different perspective on Psalm 121.  My hope is that there are things God has for each of you to spend time with, to not only help each of us grow, but to also help us as we do the work God has for us not just within the church itself but the communities we are a part of as well.

Tulips 4/29/22

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Organizing

I kind of fell into a habit after church one day.  There was a whole bunch of music sitting around.  And I started to sort through it.  Then I was sorting through a lot of music and filing music.  And then I fell into being the choir librarian.

Well, choir has been singing along with the more contemporary music, which has resulted in either copying or printing music from other books that we have access to.  We call them the MORE books.  

Sometimes I Tally Things

Well, I took some time and tallied up the number of each type of MORE book, so that maybe those of us who have been printing or copying things didn't have to do as much.  So now I'm keeping track of that music.

It's not a bad thing.  It is just interesting that I fell into organizing.  And doing more with music stuff behind the scenes.  Like it was the most comfortable thing in the world.  It was just something that I thought should be done, and I went and did it.

I'm not sharing this to talk about something else I am doing at church.  But rather to talk about how it felt comfortable and right to do what I did.  I didn't ask permission.  I just thought it would make sense to do that, and I did it.

I was part of a conversation after church where this feeling of being comfortable around people in the church was discussed.  And while I've always been part of a welcoming church environment for the most part, it was usually me who was welcoming someone else.  And coming to PUMC, I was the one who received the welcome first.  Before I got to welcome others.

Things sometimes come full circle, and then circle around again.  And that can be a good thing.  At least in this example.