Thursday Thoughts - Easter Dress Repeat

So, something in the back of my head has always said to me that I need to wear a new dress on Easter.  Not sure why, since I was never really someone who liked dresses.  But for Easter, I guess I want to look my best.  Exception was Easter 2020 when I really didn't do anything special because of the pandemic.

Anyway, last year even though we wound up still with virtual worship on Easter, I wore a great dress I had found almost by accident at Target.  Probably one of the last really nice finds there for clothing in my size.

Easter 2021

So now we are in 2022 and I began my Easter dress hunt.  I gave up looking in the store at Target because they have severely reduced the amount of clothing in their "plus size" area, and they are still stuck in winter with sweaters and other long-sleeved things.

I moved to looking online - at Target, Walmart, and an online store called Woman Within that features plus sized clothing.  I skipped Lane Bryant because as nice as the clothes are there, I didn't want to spend a fortune on a dress and they haven't had a good dress sale lately.

Well, pretty much anything that was in the range I wanted to spend for a dress either:

• Wasn't in a size I could fit in
• Too plain for Easter (aka a single color)
• Was a bunch of fall and winter colors or color blocked in ways that just did not appeal to me nor was I sure how they would appeal to anyone

And I'm here thinking, okay, we are headed into spring and summer.  Why is there nothing in my size that is pretty?  Or floral?  Or bright?  Or something that doesn't look like I'm depressed?

Okay, so, had I wanted to spend $60 or more on a dress I would have had more options.  But I wanted to stick with the budget I had worked with last time when I happened, almost randomly, on the Easter 2021 dress.

So frustrating!

Well, I made a decision last night.  And it then came with the idea to write about it today as my Thursday Thought.

Since a lot of people did not really experience my Easter dress last year, and those who did will either have forgotten it or won't mind that I wore it again, I decided I'm going to wear it again this Easter.

Took a lot of weight off my shoulders in having to find the perfect Easter Dress.  But it also made me happy because I don't think I wore the dress again after last Easter.  And it really was not just comfortable, but it was pretty, and I felt great in it!

So, I will have an Easter Dress Repeat this year.  And I'm okay with that!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - The Prodigal Son

Not going to say a lot today.  Because this is one I am still processing.

But I had a very strange experience happen yesterday that seems to be continuing today.

We spent some time in the Contemplative Service pondering the story of the prodigal son and the people in that story and how we may relate to any of those people.

I've read that part of the Bible so many times and part of my testimony actually relates to the son as I returned to a stronger faith many, many years ago.  But yesterday it hit me very differently.  So differently that I started to get emotional, after I had been doing so well since Friday!  And this continued through the sermon and prayer.

It's not something I am able to really talk about here.  I did share with someone how I was feeling about it.  And they shared some of their thoughts and gave me another new perspective on it, that I am also contemplating.

I think, though, that God wants me to contemplate this more.  Because not only did I have it at an early service and our regular service.  But when I got home, I finished a short devotional plan called "Lost and Found" on YouVersion.  And, do you know what the last Bible reading was in that one?  If you guest the Prodigal Son, you'd be right.

But wait...it gets better.

Lenten Reading for 3/28/2022

This is out of another devotion on YouVersion that I am reading through the season of Lent.  Today was the Parable of the Lost Sheep, Lost Coin, and...Lost Son.  Yes, I have read or heard this no less than 4 times in the past two days.

I think I have some more meditation to do on it.

And though yesterday it brought me to tears many times over and it is threatening to do that again to me today, I look at it as a lesson.  And I'm glad that church can bring me to that point where I need to sit with a section of Scripture that I saw in one way but am seeing in many different ways now.

Thursday Thoughts - A Profound Appreciation

I love my church.  The building is great.  I love the windows.  There is a huge sense of peace when I am there.

But sometimes, I get to appreciate other places.

West Point Cadet Chapel 3/20/2022

I had the opportunity on Sunday to visit West Point Cadet Chapel for an organ recital.  And while I was really, really excited about the organ (one of the largest in the world!) and the organist, I was immediately struck by the beauty of the building.

When I think of the word "chapel" I immediately think of something rather small and not overwhelming.  Or a small area of a larger church building.  But this chapel reminds me of a cathedral!  Because of the size and the beauty of it.

The stained glass windows were amazing!  I wish I was able to spend more time looking at them. But maybe next time I go I will get there even earlier so I have the time to do that.  The detail was just so intricate.  

Though it is not a place where I would regularly worship or even attend, I had a profound appreciation for all the work that went into that space, from the windows to the organ, to the very foundation.

I love my own church.  But I truly appreciate other places of worship for what they offer as well.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Remembering What I Was Taught

I learned a lot from every pastor I served under once I began my lay servant (formerly lay speaker) journey.  I learned different ways of presenting a sermon.  I learned the difference between working with children, and youth, and adults, and older adults.  I learned how to lead and guide meetings.  I learned various ways of worship and music.  I learned different ways of handling prayer.

Morning 3/21/2022

No, the picture has nothing to do with the memory.  I just wanted to share it.

One of the things related to prayer was protecting a person who was praying.

When one kneels in prayer, they are facing a particular way and while in prayer for whatever the need is, they can face whatever is coming to them head on.  But, their back is not protected.  Sometimes when someone is in need, you need to come behind them and protect them from behind in your own prayers.

That always stuck with me and I have to say I have not really had that much of an opportunity to protect someone's back while in prayer.

Until yesterday.

I don't want to give out details.  But I was able to protect someone's back while they prayed.  And I got to pray with them and for them, whether they knew it or not.

I had an off day myself after having a very strange dream that really bothered me.  But being able to use something I had been taught and hadn't put into practice in a very long time helped re-frame my brain a bit.

I was glad to have been able to protect this person's back while they prayed.  And I am glad that the lessons I learned many years ago still come into play today.

Thursday Thoughts - Cold Water in the Face

Last weekend (Friday into Saturday) I stayed over at work as we were working on a major project to replace the UPS in our main data center.  This required work to shut down all the equipment in the room and cut power to everything, so the old UPS could be removed, a new UPS installed, and all the power work that went with that.

A little after midnight I headed to a quiet space to try to get some sleep.  As always with a strange place it is hard to get sleep.  Every time I got comfortable I had to get up for one reason or another.  And I got locked out of where I was sleeping in 2 different ways which kept me from going back to sleep.  I didn't get much sleep even though I wasn't in the work space for several hours.

When I finally decided I had enough of trying to sleep, I went into one of the bathrooms, got changed, and did what I usually do to the best of my abilities to get ready in the morning.  But I added a step - I splashed some cold water on my face.

How it felt after splashing cold water on my face - like a bright day.

It is amazing how much more awake and alert I felt after doing that.  And brushing my teeth.  It was almost like I was a new person.  Sometimes when I get really upset and have a fit of crying, I'm told to wash my face with cold water, or put cold water on my face.  I usually never listen to that advice.  But now I understand why.

For some reason, though warm water is better to clean with, cold water on the face just really wakes you up, makes you more alert, and refreshes you.  

I'm a huge coffee in the morning person and typically can't really get going until I have coffee, tea, or something with caffeine.  But this particular morning, though I did have some nice hot tea later on, the thing I needed to wake up was the nice cold water.

Thinking back now, maybe later in the day I should have done the same thing when I started to slow down.  And maybe I'll remember that for next time (if there is a next time).

But any time I need to refresh myself, I think I'll try the cold water first before moving on to multiple cups of coffee.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - A Returning Memory

Yesterday at the start of his sermon, Pastor Jody mentioned an experience that brought him back to one from his childhood.  After church I was thinking of many things that would bring back memories in my life, and especially church memories - like smells and song tunes.

I also have a few apps that like to bring back memories too.  My main app that does this is called Timehop, which shows me things I have posted on social media and pictures I have taken a year ago, 2 years ago, etc.  It's nice sometimes to have that yearly reminder of things.  Anastasia likes it sometimes because I can show her pictures of herself when she was younger.

But, it also brings up memories of things I posted.  And reminds me of things that at the time were hard but now first of all seem not that far away but also feel like such a long time ago too.

Screenshot of 3/13/2020's blog entry

Two years ago yesterday, I wrote this blog entry in what at the time I thought was just going to be a small series tracking the transition of being a member of the United Methodist Church of Wappingers to a member of Poughkeepsie United Methodist Church.  It was not really the start of the pandemic, but it was the start of being locked down in homes and when church buildings were closed.  We had done all this prep work to prepare for the next day.  And then we had to wait.  (And wait and wait it turns out.)

I remember a lot from this particular day.  I had been working on the photo presentation for the service.  I was fielding email questions from people of whether or not we were having the service.  I was feeling a bit of anxiousness about the day.  And then I got the email from our pastor at the time saying we would have to postpone the service because we couldn't meet together.

Everything I had been working on stopped.  (For the better honestly, I was able to better refine the photo presentation and add music doing it a completely different way!)  The emails I had fielded had to be replied to saying we were postponing with a date to be determined.  And then there was the wait that I described in the blog entry.

I'm not sharing this because it is a sad memory.  Because everything that has happened since has been great.  And even though it has only been 2 years, I feel like I've been part of of the church for longer than that.  That's how welcoming it was for me.  Even in the strange times we were in.

I'm sharing this because it is a memory that returns, at least on a yearly basis thanks to my apps.  And now, it will be twice a year since I'm blogging about it!  And I'm sharing it because it is a memory that led me to reconnecting with someone, and making connections with others.  And though at the time it was stressful and full of anxiety I can look back now and remember what it led me to.

Thursday Thoughts - Lunch with Anastasia

A little known fact...

When Anastasia is prepping for a colonoscopy, we have lunch together.

This started a few years ago and the tradition seems to have stuck.  And we find ways to make it work, even if we can't do it in person.

A few times Anastasia (and my sister) have come to work and we've had time in the coffee shop or a classroom together.  But, with the pandemic we switched to meeting through technology.  So, very grateful for that!

To be honest, I had completely forgot about this now tradition and figured Anastasia was older now and probably didn't want to do it.  Until she approached me last night.

"Aunt Jenn?"
"Yes?"
"Tomorrow is my prep day."
"Yes, I know."
"I can't come to your work for lunch."

And then I realized...this isn't something she is willing to let go.

So a Zoom meeting was set up and I will have lunch using technology with Anastasia (and Jessica).

Our first selfie in 2022 (2/14/22)

I'm glad we are keeping this tradition alive!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Sharing the Story of a Hand-Me-Down

Yesterday I got to share a bit of something personal during our Moment for the Young and Young at Heart.  I talked about hand-me-downs, which on the whole typically have a more negative connotation to them.  When I polled the congregation there was a mix of joy at thinking about hand-me-downs, some people who immediately shook their heads no or made thumbs-downs signs, and others who indicated it depended on what the item was.

But then I got to share about a very special to me hand-me-down.

My anointing oil

This is the jar of anointing oil that Pastor Dorsey left for me when she was appointed to another set of churches in another district.  This was the oil she used week after week during prayer time.  When we were invited forward for time with God on holy ground.

I have had several different pastors in my life who have taught me a variety of things, from being able to speak and give sermons, to being a leader in the church, to use of technology, and so on.  It was Pastor Dorsey who encouraged me to get more involved not just at the local level but at the district and eventually conference level.  I learned a lot from her and was blessed so much by her leadership.

This anointing oil sat in the lectern at Wappingers, where Pastor Dorsey left it for me.  I was always one of the first people in at church the next year and a half and when I felt I needed it, I would pray over the oil and anoint myself seeking God's guidance and strength for whatever was going on.

On my last sermon in October, 2019, I brought the oil out from its hiding place and anointed everyone in the congregation that day as we were all well on our way to being part of a new congregation.  It was an emotional moment for everyone.  And from then on, the oil sat in my house on a piece of furniture by the front door - so it is one of the last things I see and contemplate on when I leave the house every day.

It made its reappearance in public yesterday as I shared just how special that hand-me-down was.  Along with the other important hand-me-down, the Bible.

We do tend to think negatively about hand-me-downs.

But sometimes we get those things that mean a lot to us handed down.

Like the oil.

And like the Bible.  God handed all that stuff down to us so that we could learn, grow, and be encouraged.

It was hard to share the story, but I was able to.  With God's help.

Thank you God for the blessings of hand-me-downs.

Thursday Thoughts - It's Lent and I Cry

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday which marks the start of Lent.  40 days (minus Sundays) of pondering and reflection until eventually we mark Christ's death and resurrection.

When I attend a service, in person, now at PUMC for Ash Wednesday as just a congregation member, there seem to be two things in common.

One, I get ashes on my head and spend time in prayer.

Ashes received 3/2/2022

Two, I cry.

Luckily there wasn't a third thing, that I smash the heck out of my knee on a pew and wind up with a gigantic bruise.  That happened two years ago.

But I cry, typically while I am in a prayerful time.  I'm not sure if it is stress building up, or because that is just how I am connecting with God, or something else.  Maybe it is because it is Lent and we are coming to a time of contemplation.

I don't know.  But it all somehow makes me feel closer to God.  Which I guess is the more important thing.