Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Another New (yet old) Experience

It seems familiar things to do can also become new things to do.

Yesterday I preached a sermon in church.  This was not a new experience for me, even at PUMC as I have given a few sermons now.

I led worship yesterday.  Again, not a new experience for me.

Here's the first of the new yet old experiences...

2/27/2022 - Alone in the Sanctuary

For the first time at PUMC, on a Sunday morning, I spent time in the Sanctuary alone.  Yes, alone.  Usually on a day when I am preaching, I do get to church quite early but I am not the first one in.  Yesterday I was.

Here's the other new yet old experience.  I preached, yes, which was the old experience.  However, for the first time, I preached in front of a District Superintendent.

That had been the cause of a bit of stress over the past couple weeks.  Not the last-minute music changes I had to make.  Not struggling to figure out where the paraments were kept.  But writing and giving a sermon in front of someone that I have respected for many, many years!  Someone who is very knowledgeable and someone who I love to hear preach when I get the opportunity.

It all went well.  The whole service went well.  And I could breathe a sigh of relief after it was all over.  Though I didn't have much of a voice between all the speaking and all the singing I did.

But it gave me the confidence that even though I'm in a room with a lot of people or in a room with very important people, I can do anything as long as God is with me!

Thursday Thoughts - What to Say Today?

I feel like I am at a loss today for what to write about.

Yet at the same time, I have a lot I want to share.  But am unsure how to word it.  Without giving away all my inner feelings.

Rare snuggles from Sparkle in December, 2021

I wonder if anyone else gets like that.  You have a lot going on in your head and need to get it out...somehow.  But your usual outlet is kind of public.  I suppose I could just write it all out and save it somewhere that only I can see.  Or put it in a journal.  Or something like that.

But that's not what Thursday Thoughts are for!

So what shall I say today?

I shall say that this week in particular, for some reason, my connection with people close to me has become more important.  

I have this calendar on my desk at work that gives quotes or sayings each day to help with staying calm, de-stressed, and less anxious.  The one from the weekend of 2/19 and 2/20 said, "Connect yourself to the people that matter the most to you.  Send a text, a coffee invite, anything!"

And this seems to have really resonated with me.

At least in some cases.

I'm trying to be more responsive on comments in Facebook.  And texting people.  And emailing people.  And I know I have a long ways to go.  But I think as with everything, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

As long as I don't go too far with some people.  And give way to my inner thoughts that I want to scream out but that I'm sure either aren't ready or won't ever be reciprocated.  That continues to be my struggle.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Sitting in the Congregation

I had an unusual experience yesterday. 

I sat in the congregation for service.

Yes, you read that right.  I sat in the congregation for service.  After months (and months) of participating in some way, even when we had to readjust ourselves, I had a Sunday off.

I still got there early to fill the candles.  But I got to sit through rehearsal.  I got to chat with people before service.  And I got to experience worship from a different view.

Physical representation of the sermon (2/20/22)

I also got the opportunity to pray for the two lay servants that prepared yesterday's service.  I know when I'm preparing a service and someone prays with me, it is always a very calming presence.  So I wanted to be able to return the favor.  And being in the congregation I think allowed me to be able to do that.

But sitting in the congregation allowed me to experience worship in the way that I started.  I was able to learn from someone who I know has given many, many sermons before but was giving their first one at PUMC.  

It was strange to be sure.  Not because I felt like I didn't belong.  But because it was a place I hadn't been in a lot, at least on a Sunday.

But it was a good strangeness.  And a place I needed to be in I think.  At least this week I did!

Thursday Thoughts - Don't Want to Miss Nature

Lately I have taken to bringing my phone with me when I go to take the dog out.  Because sometimes the back yard sky is just to pretty to ignore.  And sometimes I get a great view of a bird or other animal somewhere that I can grab a picture of.

Woodpecker in the morning 2/16/2022

I just never know what will be around that I might get a good picture of!  And when I don't think to bring my phone with me, I regret it, especially lately, because I wind up missing an opportunity to take a picture of something that would turn out awesome!

I also have found that when I leave work for the day or to grab food or something, I carry my phone with me in my other pocket (when I'm wearing a jacket).  Just so I have it ready because as the days are getting longer, the sky is just so pretty when I leave.  Even if I'm not grabbing a sunset, the blue sky has just been so nice to see.

I guess I just do not want to miss what God is showing me in nature as of late.  Not sure why exactly.  Maybe as a tie-in to my course on Psalms.  Maybe because God knows I need to see it and appreciate it more.  Though I don't know the reason why, I truly appreciate what I am seeing.  Even when I miss taking a photo of it and being able to share what I see, it is still quite wonderful.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - A New (and not) Experience

Well, I did something new (and not) at church yesterday.  I led Confirmation Class.

Now, I had assisted at Wappingers with Confirmation classes before.  So that part wasn't new.  What was new was working with confirmands that I really did not know because I still feel like I am learning who people are.  And, the material used was new.  There was a lot that was new.

Headed into a New-Yet-Not Experience (2/13/2022)

 

Not that new is bad!  New just means different and though I am not always a fan of breaking out of my shell or box and doing new things I have learned my ongoing journey at PUMC has meant doing a lot of formerly familiar things in a new or different way.  And I have had to adjust.  And become okay with.

I've had to get used to things I was familiar with before but experience now in a new place.  A year ago I gave my first sermon at PUMC. I've been singing in different formations with different people in different spaces for awhile now.  I've been bold and talked to people who I would have never talked to before because of how introverted and shy I am.  I've led different discussions and groups.  I've made a bunch of friends and friends who have become like family.

All things I had to figure out how to do in a setting that became very comfortable to me.  And then in a setting that was new to me.

There are some things that I have done and I will do that will bring me back to memories of times before when I did those things.

But there are also things I'm sure I haven't even thought of that I have never done and I will have the opportunity to do.  That is why this is such an ongoing journey, one mixed with memories and eyes open to the future.

I am so glad for all of it!  And I am so blessed that I can experience it all too!

Thursday Thoughts - There is Hope

We know it will eventually happen.  As the days get shorter and it gets darker earlier and earlier, we know that eventually the days will again get longer and it will be a little later each day when the skies get darker.  For me, it is also how early I have to leave the house to catch a sunset on the weekends.

Blue Skies 2/10/2022

I walked out of work last night a few minutes after 5pm.  And when I looked out, I saw a bit of a sunset through the trees and buildings.

But, I also saw a lot of blue sky!

I stopped to take a few pictures, of course.

But it really helped brighten my mood.  I had an early morning that gave me a little bit of a scare.  I had a tough physical morning into afternoon.  I felt a bit defeated.

But that blue sky really turned things around for me.

I know that we have to go through the days where the darkness is longer than the light.  And we have cold temperatures.  And we have snow and ice and slippery conditions.  However, there is hope that after dealing with that, before long the warmer temperatures come.  There is no more snow and ice.  And the days get longer and allow us to enjoy the nice weather a bit.

There is always hope.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - God's Answer is People

In an email I was writing to a friend, I wrote something that immediately said I should write more on this!  And so today's blog entry was born.

Grey Morning 2/7/2022

 

What I wrote was basically that we should always go to God first when we are struggling with something.  And, I admitted that sometimes I feel like God doesn't answer the way we want the answer to come - with something very clear and bold.

But, a lot of times I have noticed that God's answer is people.

What I mean by that is that God puts people in our lives that we need either at that time or in a future time or for as long as we know the person.  I have discovered this with my best friend, Jess.  God put us together when we started our MBA journeys together at the same time.  And though we finished at slightly different times, we were able to study together, learn together, and encourage each other every step of the way.

But God has also put the people at PUMC in my life for many reasons.  To learn from them.  To grow with them.  To sing with them.  To pray with them.  To send lengthy emails to them.  To ramble to them.  To worship with them.  To share things with them.  To listen to them.  To be open and honest with them.  To become close friends and family with them.

Sometimes God's answer to a prayer is the people put in our lives.  I know I could list person after person that I feel this way about, but I don't want to list them all because knowing me, I'd miss someone!

And I am so thankful for remembering that today.

Thank you God for the people you have put in my life, throughout my life.

Thursday Thoughts - Striving for Perfection

Below are thoughts I shared during our February Church Council meeting as a devotional.  Which every day seems to be reinforced in my head...

Nighttime Clouds 2/1/2022

 

Hebrews 6: 1-3 (NRSV): “Therefore let us go on toward perfection, leaving behind the basic teaching about Christ, and not laying again the foundation: repentance from dead works and faith toward God, instruction about baptisms, laying on of hands, resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And we will do this, if God permits.”

Last week in a course on the Psalms I am currently taking, we discussed seeing things from God’s perspective and how that really is a difficult thing to achieve because after all, God is God.

Perfection or striving towards perfection is another of those difficult things to achieve.  None of us will ever be perfect, no matter how hard we try.  Or how hard we do our best to make sure things we are doing are as close to perfect as they can be.  If anything, this past week has shown me that.  Though I strive for perfection in the things I do, last week I managed to not only mis-spell things that I should have known how to spell but write some grammatically terrible sentences on flyers I was making, forgot to take care of some things at home, and neglected to include groups from requested reports.

No, none of us is perfect.  But in striving or going on toward perfection, aren’t we supposed to try our best to do our best?  However, we also can’t get caught up in trying so hard to be perfect that it keeps us blind to the fact that God loves us, God accepts us for who we are, and that God knows we are trying our best to do our best, even if we make mistakes along the way.

Sometimes there are things forgotten or turned in late.  Sometimes there are typos in words written.  Or things are misspelled.  Or words are missing.  Sometimes we have a hard time finding the right words to explain what we mean, which may confuse people.  But what matters most is that we are doing our best for God.  Our best to show God’s Love to others.  Our best to expand beyond the four walls of the church building.  Our best to do the work of the church.