The Last Thought of 2022

Here we are on the last day of 2022.

I thought about a lot of things I could say. And various ways to say them.

It has been a year of stress. A year of change. A year of getting even closer with friends. A year of learning. A year of music. A year of having to take more on. A year of having to start making some decisions. A year of laughter. A year with many, many, many sunsets. And other interesting photos. A year of coffee and tea. A year of trying a lot of new foods. A year of growth with my church family. A year of crafting.

There were things I so wished for in 2022 that didn't happen. But some things that did happen. I found a new doctor and as a result of medications I have significantly less migraines.  I got to see and hear 2 more huge organs. I earned a certificate in Music Ministry. I got a new job after 23 1/2 years in one position. 

I cried a lot this year and I have a feeling that won't change in 2023. But I also smiled a lot. And laughed a lot.

While there are things I wish I had done or wish I had said or wish I had the courage to say or do in 2022, it was the year it was supposed to be.

And I'm hoping that 2023 is as interesting as 2022 was - and maybe more so. And I hope to get back in a more regular routine of blogging too - because I have missed it!

The view from my back yard 12/25/2022

Monday Musings - Trying to Find Joy

 

Joy - From 12/24/2020

Yesterday if you lit an Advent Wreath, you lit the pink candle, or the Joy candle. Going to two different services at church means I got to experience it twice.  Our pastor had us contemplate Joy, in both services, as well as sharing things that give you joy. And one of the things he said was that sometimes it is hard, especially at this time of year, for some people to find the joy.  But to try to find the joy in what others find joy in.

I will admit - this is where I struggle. And, appropriately enough (or inappropriately), I struggled a whole lot with this over the weekend.

Though the end of Saturday was a great day, the start to my Saturday was not good at all. And, it probably stemmed from some stuff that was going on in my head from Friday night. My dog woke me up early, and when I say early, I mean before 7am. On a day, in fact, the ONLY day I have to sleep past 7am. And then she refused to settle down, which meant I couldn't try to get more rest. And I also wound up having to take her out again before I went out to run the errands I had planned. Plus there was some other chaos going on that started to bring me down.

By the time I got home, which wasn't really that late, I still couldn't have a few moments of peace because I had more treks outside with the dog, had to make myself some lunch, grab a shower and fix my hair, and then go to a party hosted by my pastor and his family. Which was the part of my day that actually went well.

But before that I was struggling, a lot, with finding joy. 

I have tried to not be a negative person. Or to be able to find the good in any situation. But, there are times that I am human and I do struggle to find the joy.

There was a lot of joy going on around me, at home, at church, and other places. And there are things that definitely bring me joy on a personal level. I am working on trying to focus on those things. But sometimes my brain tries to bring me down.

So I keep trying to find the joy.

Heading into Christmas is a season of joy. And yes, I realize that there are people who are not able to find the joy for reasons very different from my own. But I keep trying to find it - if not for myself, then joy for others who need it or who are experiencing it.

That's why I chose to share the photo I did on this blog entry - from two years ago. Because that Christmas Eve day was one of joy. It was one of struggles too, as I fought with a migraine the entire day while attending multiple church services and singing at them. But it was also one of joy as it was our first Christmas Eve at our new church. 

So as I look back on that day, I think about the joy of that day despite my personal struggles that day and hope it helps me find the joy today. And I think about the music we sing at this time of year. One song in particular that keeps running through my head has the words to Joyful, Joyful in it but also has a chorus where it says "Joy, Unspeakable Joy..."  With that in my head, I try to find that unspeakable joy.

Monday Musings - My Photos

All I use is whatever camera is on my phone.  I've tried a few different camera apps from time to time in order to get better photos, but for the most part all the photos I take are from the actual camera on whatever phone I have.

And people compliment me on them all the time.

I'm not sure what I do that is different from anyone else - because everyone else has the same abilities as I do. Sometimes it is the same phone. Sometimes it is a better phone.

Many times I take a photo because the view is so beautiful I can't help myself. And the photo I take just never does the view justice. I can't tell you the number of times I have posted a photo and typed those words or shared a photo with a friend and sent those words. The photo is great in itself, but sometimes what is going on in real life is more beautiful than I can get the photo to express.

But, what happens every so often is that I hold my phone up to take what I think is a nice photo but what comes through the screen is much better than I even thought.

Outside Fellowship Hall at PUMC 12/4/2022

This photo is one of those rare ones. The sun was starting to peek out over the hill there and was shining in the window of our Fellowship Hall at church. It was 7:59am, and I had just a minute to grab it. I picked up my phone, opened the camera, and pointed. And what I saw through the camera lens was so much better than what I saw through the window. You can tell there is a bit of glaring from the window, and you can see one of the lights in the Fellowship Hall in the photo at the top. But the photo itself was more than I was expecting and I am so glad that I took the few seconds to take the photo before our Contemplative Service started.

I still don't know what to do with the compliments I receive from the photos I post and share. I just post and share them because I've taken them and I just want to share them because I like them and I feel like others should see them. I just like to share photos because they are a part of me.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Aunt Jenn

When we first started attending Wappingers we came to know a couple who our whole family referred to as Aunt Judy and Uncle Frank. They were not our personal aunt and uncle, but were the aunt and uncle of people who attended the church. However, their family names of Aunt and Uncle stuck with them and they seemed okay with being the entire church's Aunt and Uncle.

Even after they left that congregation, we still referred to them as Aunt Judy and Uncle Frank whenever we saw them, whether it was in another church or out and about somewhere.

Fast forward to yesterday when I went to get Anastasia from Fellowship Hall.  Earlier she had been sort of playing Marco Polo to find a friend of hers somewhere in the church building. So I used the same phrase to call out to her when I walked into Fellowship Hall.  And she said to me "Aunt Jenn!" and her friend said, "How does Aunt Jenn know Marco Polo?" Upon overhearing this, I was told that I'm becoming everyone's Aunt Jenn.

I never thought I would become the Aunt Jenn of a church. But here I am, maybe becoming the Aunt Jenn of a church. Or at least Aunt Jenn to all the kids.  Which is okay with me.

The Sky 11/6/2022

Monday Musings - If you build it, use it!

While it is not the healthiest thing in the world for me to eat, during the week when I have some time between work and a meeting I stop for fast food. I'm trying to be better about this, but sometimes it is just convenient.

Anyway, as I drive through some of these places, I find the following:

• A single window where you both pay and receive what you ordered.
• Two windows, one where you pay and the next window where you receive what you ordered.
• Two windows, one you drive by because it is being used for storage or just isn't used at all, and the second window where you both pay and receive what you ordered.

It is the last one that bothers me the most. Because seriously, if you have renovated your establishment and added a window somewhere, whether it is the first window or the second one, it was built for a purpose - to be used! Not to be a storage area. Not to be constantly closed. Not to be constantly passed by. It might help with long lines in a drive through. Maybe it won't. But seriously, the addition of these windows whenever they are done are probably paid for by someone within the business, be it a franchisee or corporate. I wonder what they say when they see the newly build window never used - or worse, being an area to just store supplies! 

And don't get me started on places that have 2 drive through lanes, 2 drive through orders being taken at once, to only be put into 1 lane to pay for said orders and then receive the food. I'm sure that is to aid with quicker orders being taken but more than once someone who just HAD to wait in line ahead of me even though I had clearly completed providing my order before they did had to specify what their order was because the person at the window thought it was my order they were getting.

Pondering the need for 2 drive through windows...

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Not Yet!

I guess I have something else to write in this series. So maybe I'll keep it around but it may not be a weekly entry.

Pretty Tree in the PUMC Parking Lot 10/16/2022

So, yesterday I had an opportunity that I haven't had in a very long time. I got to work with the youth in the church. One of the adults who works with the youth was doing a day on music and asked if some of us from choir would assist.  It was a lot of fun - and there was a lot of hidden musical talent in the youth in both instrument and vocal forms!

It has been a number of years since I worked with a youth group - probably at least 10 years. But it was a great experience. And it was fun, not just because of the subject but because of the youth and the other adults who were there. There is a mix of time for fun and time for learning and stretch breaks which lead to fun, and of course, a snack!  And we were invited back, not to talk about music but to just be part of the fellowship.

While I can't make it back for the next week and I think the following week they were meeting early for the CROP Walk for those who wished to participate, so it may be a bit before I get back. But I'm definitely considering it!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Should I Let this Go?

The moon above the church 10/6/22

It is no secret that I have been struggling to blog the past couple months. Some days on Monday I just don't have anything new to contribute to the ongoing merging journey series. I mean, things are still going on. My journey continues. But I don't feel like it necessarily needs to contribute to its own blog entry. And then because I don't blog on Monday it leads to no thoughts on Thursday or a feeling like I shouldn't share thoughts on Thursday because I didn't post on Monday.

So here is where I'm at.

I'm not going to give up blogging.

But I'm thinking it may be time for this series to not be so frequent.  Maybe instead of a random thought on a Thursday, if something comes up related to the ongoing journey, I should post it on Thursday as my thought and just go from there.  Sometimes I feel like in the past I have almost duplicated efforts because my thought on Thursday would have been just as good as a journey post. Except that I didn't want to wait for a Monday.

I don't know.  It is just something I'm thinking about. So that I don't feel so remiss in my postings. 

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Current Task Brought Back a Memory

 The other day I was talking with someone about the candles as I filled them with oil.  I've always had some affiliation with the candles in a church.  It now is one of my weekly behind-the-scenes tasks to fill the candles with oil.  This was something I had also done at Wappingers when my father wasn't able to take care of it any more.

But I was also reminded of the time before we had oil candles.

Candles on the altar, Easter 2012

The candles posted here are still the oil candles, but there was a time before this when they weren't.  They were white candles that looked very similar. 

But there was a trick.

At the end of the service, after the acolyte had extinguished the candles, after the postlude, when someone had to pull down on the top part of the candle while the wax was still warm and pliable. 

Again, a task my father had done until I learned how to do it and then I enjoyed doing it.

It is interesting how some memories come back at random times. Like this memory of the candles, from who knows how many years ago.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - When Life Seems to be Repeating Itself

Thanks to apps on my phone like Timehop I am reminded of various photos and things I took in previous years. Today my phone reminded me that it was a year ago when our Pastor (and many others) were away on a trip. In an effort to not burden the lay servants in church, he was just looking for someone to take care of the service except for the sermon, which he pre-recorded. For reference, this was last year's blog entry about that event: My Pastor is Unique.

Well, yesterday I had a slightly similar experience. For a different reason all together. Our pastor needed to save his voice, so there were a couple of us lay servants who were asked to guide worship services, both our contemplative service and the regular service later in the morning. 

Life seems to be repeating itself.

What was also funny is that last year I had bought this gigantic bottle of water to help me get through the service, I guess because it was warm. While I don't have proof of it this year, I also bought a pretty large bottle of water to get through yesterday's service. I didn't drink as much this year as I did last year.

But life seems to be repeating itself.

Life does seem to do that from time to time. There are things that are familiar that happen around the same time every year.  At work we have a cycle of when things happen in the life of the college. At church it is the church year when things happen, days or seasons are celebrated, and there is familiarity and sometimes unfamiliarity.

Sometimes life repeats itself. It can be exactly how something was or with slight differences. It is just how we handle those things that makes the difference.

The sky from the parking lot at PUMC on 9/18/2022

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - The Only Thing I Wanted To Do

Yes, yes, it's been a few weeks. Sorry. Things are busy for me both personally and professionally and I didn't have the energy to write while I was off (went on a long hike) or during my lunch break while at work. But, you know, stuff happens from time to time. And I'll try to be better about getting back on schedule.

So yesterday was Sunday. Yesterday was also my birthday. And there was one thing I wanted to do yesterday. That was go to church.

Me in the car before I left to go to church

The last time I went to church on my birthday was when there was a hurricane coming through the area, so it was a very crazy day. A memorable one, but a crazy one. Yesterday was much less crazy. I got to go to church and take part in soaking prayer, which I am growing to love. And then we had our regular service, which had some really good hymns, a service led by one of our lay leaders (which I always enjoy), and a guest speaker who was great. Oh, and a great postlude.

The rest of the day was quiet for me. 

But I just loved being in the church environment on my birthday. I got so many birthday hugs and wishes. It was the place I wanted to be and needed to be. I love that church can have that effect on me, not just on special days but on every day that I am there.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - VBS

A day late - sorry!

So last week was Vacation Bible School at church. And it wasn't just for kids - it was also for adults. Anastasia and I attended together (except for Friday when I had to make a trip to Cape Cod) which was really very cool. Every night we got to have dinner together and then we played games with our table, which ranged night to night with different adults and children.

Anastasia and Aunt Jenn on the first day of VBS

Anastasia really enjoyed herself, making friends, learning songs, doing arts and crafts, playing games, and learning different Bible stories.

For the adults we did scripture studies each night and then a talk on different subjects.

The night ended together with more music.

I have a few memories of Vacation Bible School when I was a kid. At different churches. Singing songs like This Little Light of Mine and King of Kings. Snack time. Getting a Bible. Some of the spaces we were in.

I am so glad Anastasia was able to have some of the same fun.

And I had fun too! I am truly glad they included adults as well. It gave me the opportunity to not only learn with people I have learned with before but with others that I know from other contexts but not necessarily studies or small groups.

I hope we can do it again next year!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Worship in the Heat

So, even though it was early enough in the day, it was quite warm (hot) outside yesterday during our outdoor worship service. A lot of the congregation opted to watch from the fellowship hall that allowed breeze in from outside, was shady, and had fans. But several of us were leading worship in the sunny area which was quite warm. We found shade when we weren't singing, but all the singing was in the sun.

Hiding in the shade of a bush between singing

But here is what was very strange for me.  When we were practicing, I felt the sun. I felt the heat. After service when we were putting things away, I felt the sun and I felt the heat.  But during the actual service, it was like the heat went away.  The sun never did, but it didn't bother me that much.

It reminded me of times when I would be doing something for a church service or program when I was tired, sore, hot, had a migraine, or just felt plain terrible - but I was able to push on and almost forget what I was feeling because what I was doing was for God.

Yesterday it must have been the same thing. Because while I do know I was getting burned by the sun and it was warm and I was probably starting to get dehydrated, none of that mattered because I was part of the time of worshiping God.

I'm not saying one has to ignore those things that may be bothering you. Because we do also need to take care of ourselves - God would want that! But sometimes those inconveniences can be overlooked or at least become a little less annoying when you are doing something like praising God.

I used to be overly sensitive about the heat. A day like yesterday I would have been complaining the entire time about everything. But I guess something changed. It was where I needed to be, even with the outdoor conditions the way they were.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - An Impulse Buy

Leaders don't always have it 100% perfect. Just like everyone else, we are all striving towards perfection but it is a daily striving.  Each day is another day to get better what we didn't do as well at the day before.  Or, as I was saying in my sermon yesterday, every day is a new day to become a whole new you.

About a year and a half ago I gave my first message for the young and young at heart where the prompt was to write out a "valentine" (it was Valentine's Day after all) to someone that you had a hard time forgiving.  I did this because there was someone in my past that I was having a difficult time forgiving.

Turns out I still do.

Thus the impulse buy from Target over the weekend.  Because while I know that I should not let this particular situation bother me any more, there is a part of me that still struggles with forgiving this person for what they did.

But why post about this during this series?

Because this is from my past church life.  And as merging is an ongoing journey, so is this particular forgiveness journey I am on. So it seems.

With the time off I have coming up, my hope is to be able to read through this book and maybe, finally, move past what I'm struggling with.  Wouldn't that be nice?  But, at the very least, be able to not let it bother me so much any more.

Thursday Thoughts - An Old Work Memory

While walking on campus yesterday, as has been the case a few times over the past several weeks, the sprinklers have been going.  And when the sprinklers go, where ever they are, they do tend to hit the sidewalk.

The sprinklers helping the grass

This reminded me of a long (long) time ago when we had to walk across campus in the middle of the day.  And, on hot summer days, we would long for the sprinklers to be going.  Well, sort of.

Sometimes we were carrying things or bringing things that couldn't get wet.  So we had to learn to watch the sprinklers and time when to walk by them so whatever we were carrying didn't get wet.

But if we didn't have anything to carry, and it was really, really, really hot, the object was to cool off, especially on hot summer days.  So then we would want to time it so we'd get hit by the sprinklers.  But not too much so we were overly soaked.

It has been a long time since I have seen the sprinklers going in the middle of the day.  But I'm often reminded of that memory now as I've seen the being used more while I'm outside over the past month.  Also it is very funny how some memories come back so easily, like the one on how to time out the sprinklers so you don't get wet - especially when several of them are covering an area and you have to dodge multiple sprinklers on different timings as you walk a single path.  

Seeing the sprinklers now makes me smile as I remember those former days.  And also laugh at myself as I had to dodge sprinklers while pushing a cart of all my stuff from one location to another.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Settling Into a Routine

It may seem kind of strange to talk about being okay with a routine and church, because there is often the thought that you don't want to really be doing things in worship that are just "routine" or doing things "by rote."

The routine that I'm writing about though is anything close to doing things by rote.

It is the comfort of doing things week after week without things being thrown into chaos because of a pandemic or new restrictions or something like that.

Knowing that we have a Contemplative service at 8am.  That is quiet and really gives some time to delve into Scripture a bit.  And it usually leaves something else for you to consider long after the service is done.

Knowing that we rehearse some music at 8:45am with a team of musicians who are great to sing with as we sometimes learn new songs or find new ways to sing familiar songs.

Then choir meets to go over the anthem for that day.  Which always starts with a lot of fellowship and laughter which then has to be corralled by our fearless leader.

After practicing in the sanctuary, then we get some time to rest before service starts.  Sometimes it is a bit of time and sometimes not so much.  And now it means being in the room with air conditioning, and that is ALWAYS nice.

And then we have our worship service.

It's a great routine and one I look forward to every Sunday.

Also a routine - weekly sunsets...

Tuesday Admission - I've Been Neglectful of this Blog

It's been a minute or two since I've blogged.  My Sundays and Wednesdays would be filled with me thinking, "I need to get a photo ready to include in tomorrow's blog entry."  My Mondays and Thursdays would be filled with me thinking, "Make sure when you take a break, take time to write your blog entry."  My Tuesdays and Fridays would be filled with me thinking, "Oh man, I missed my scheduled blog.  I'd better make sure I write one next Monday/Thursday."

Sorry I've been so silent and letting so many days go by without any sort of entry.

There has been no excuse.  I could have come up with something to write. And in some cases, I had an idea.  I just didn't write.

And maybe there is an excuse.  Not that I would ever use a job as an excuse for anything.  But I do have a new job (started yesterday) while still working through some outstanding projects and things from my old job.  Which means my brain is going in about 20 more different directions than it usually does.

All this to say, sorry for being so absent for so many weeks.  Everything is okay.  I just need to remember to breathe and remember the things that I do for my own self, like writing things out.

Ice Cream after Church on 7/17/2022

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - I found the Silverware!

For those of you who have been following my blog for the last couple years or if you read my first version of my compilation of my Merging blog entries, you may remember one of the first things I wrote about was silverware.  If you are curious, it can be found here. Knowing where all the silverware went after drying them or where they could be found if they were needed was one of the first things I learned in the kitchen at Wappingers.  It came so naturally to pull those drawers open and find what I knew would be there.

Well, I finally found the silverware in the kitchen at PUMC.

Communion Prep in the Refrigerator at PUMC

It all started when I was asked to help set up Communion for Sunday (7/3/22).  Which, having done it so many times before at Wappingers seemed not too difficult a task.  It turned out to be a bit of an adventure, but it all worked out in the end.

But in the midst of all this, I needed to find a knife to cut bread.  Which required opening practically every drawer in the kitchen.  And while I did find a knife to cut the bread I also found the silverware.  Which seemed to come at a point where I felt like it was almost full circle.  It's almost two years since the merger became official.  Today is one year since I planned and preached my first full service at PUMC.  And I now know the drawers that contain the forks, spoons, and knives for a regular meal or for regular use.

I've been shown a variety of places where things are hidden.  Where the oil is kept for the candles.  Where the items are for Communion.  Where they keep the candle lighter.  Where the music is organized.  I just never had the occasion to spend much time doing work in the kitchen which would have led to finding the silverware sooner.

But now I have.  And I wonder what I will find next.

Thursday Thoughts - Random Exits

So, I discovered something about myself yesterday while driving home from Atlantic City.

Before I left on Adventures to Atlantic City

I don't like driving aimlessly with someone else in the car.

Also, I don't like that some major roads don't have signs where one can find food and stuff.  Which leads to driving aimlessly with someone else in the car.

If it is me by myself it's no big deal to take a random exit and see what I could possibly find if I need something like gas or food or just a break from driving.  I travel with a multitude of map programs on my phone and battery packs to make sure I have enough power for my phone.  So, where ever I go, I can find my way back where I need to go.

But when I'm driving with someone else in the car, I like them to think I know exactly where I am going and what I will find when I take a random exit off a major road in search of something like food.  Because I don't want them to think I'm getting us lost or am confused or I'm not a safe driver or something.

I took a random exit yesterday in search of food with a friend in the car.  And at first we thought we were out of luck finding food.  We did find a Wawa (yay French Vanilla Cappuccino!) and a Methodist Church.  Then when it seemed like it was an unsuccessful random exit (which started to stress me out that it was unsuccessful) I turned around and while waiting at a light we found a diner.  Which wasn't too busy and had great food.

This whole experience made me think a bit about how sometimes we have random exits in life too.  Some literal and others not so much.  It can be scary taking the random exit.  It can be nerve wracking.  It can make one anxious. But you may be surprised at what you find along the way.

My random exit was a nice break from driving major highways with trucks and lanes that seemed a bit thinner than the ones I'm used to.  And it did provide a well-needed meal.  I'm glad it worked out the way it did.  And hopefully I won't be as nervous about taking a random exit the next time I'm driving someone else in the car.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Sometimes There is Laughter

Before every worship service the service participants gather in the choir room for a prayer led by Pastor Jody, or whoever is leading worship that particular day.  Sometimes we gather a bit early and have some time to fellowship before we pray and have to move into the sanctuary.  And most times this extra time leads to laughter.

Worship isn't meant to be stuffy.  It can have lighthearted moments.  There can be laughter at any point in the service.  But there is also some seriousness in a service too.  Especially since we are gathering to worship God.

But, at least for me, I really enjoy having the laughter before moving into the sanctuary, especially if I may be struggling with something.  It helps me enjoy things a bit more, even if we have something very serious to do.

Sometimes there is a reason for the laughter.  Like someone did something funny or told a joke or funny story.  And we did have some of those moments yesterday.  But yesterday was also the first day we could not only go through service without face masks on if we chose to, but we could also sing without face masks. So some of us were a bit excited about that, I guess.

Whatever the reason behind the laughter, it is such a good feeling knowing you can laugh with people through good times and bad.  Even though we all have our own things going on in our lives or our own feelings about things going on around us and around the world, we can still laugh in God's presence.

The Hudson River on Fri. 6/24/2022

Thursday Thoughts - Lemonade is Back!

Yes, it is that time again for Annual Conference.  And yes, it is time for more lemonade.  Because I can't seem to feel like it's Annual Conference without it.

Unlike last year when I bought a ton of different lemonades, I'm going to stick with a larger bottle and just drink small cups of it over Friday and Saturday.  I found, after last year, that my favorite turned out to be one that I didn't drink over the course of last year's conference.  It was weeks later when I found in a grocery store Turkey Hill's lemonade, which I loved.

However, when I went to the store last night to get my lemonade, the store I was at didn't have any. They had a type that I had tried last year and thought was okay.  And they had a lot of "light" versions which usually means artificial sweeteners that tend to give me migraines.  (And honestly, after several months now of NO MIGRAINES for random reasons except for overheating myself which is expected, I don't want to risk it.)  So I bought store brand.

Lemonade for 2022's Annual Conference

And yes, I did write on it so people wouldn't accidentally think it was for general use and open it and drink it.

We'll see how it is.  My sister says it is pretty good, so I'm hopeful.  And also, for 99 cents, it was a great deal!  This may be the lemonade I choose for the summer!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Far Away Yet Not

Night (yes night!) sky 6/19/22

 

Yesterday while reading a rather lengthy portion of scripture (1 Kings 19:1 - 15a) during the contemplative service, we were considering times of feeling far from God and times when we have felt close to God.  The scripture focused on Elijah fleeing from people who were going to kill him and him calling out to God to die.  Yet God provided him with food and drink, and if you think about it, safety.

I started to write that Elijah must have felt far from God because people had ill-intent against him.  Yet, God was always present.  God made provisions for Elijah in many different ways.  Elijah may have felt far from God yet God was not far from Elijah.

I didn't get to write down that this was the same for us.  Even though we go through things that make us feel like God is far away from us, God really is not.  God is always there for us, providing for us, even if we can't see it or recognize it right away.

We can not go anywhere away from God's presence.  We may not feel that God is present in the moment or situation or whatever else it is.  But, I have faith and know that God is truly there.  We are told that God never leaves us or forsakes us.  Even in Jesus' last moments when the cry went out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" God did not forsake His Son.

I have had times when I felt God was far away.  Or if not far away, not as responsive as I would have liked.  But God has always been close to me even when I thought He was far away.  God may not have responded as quickly as I would have liked.  But God responded or didn't respond in the way that was appropriate for the situation.

God is never far away from us.  And I am so very glad for that fact.

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - My Stewardship Moment

So, first I have to apologize that this is a day late.  I was at a conference on campus most of yesterday and while I had my laptop, I spent most of my time on the laptop doing work things and other times listening to speakers.

What I share below is the stewardship moment that I gave on Sunday.  Because it truly is why I give and do what I do for the church.

I wonder if the simple act of me standing right here for this Stewardship Moment let you know exactly what I was going to talk about.   Or maybe not.

For a number of months, we have heard from different people or groups talking about what matters to them and what gets them energized and how that energy leads to their stewardship within the church.

And here I am, about to tell you what now gets me energized.  If you didn’t guess it already, it is music.

When I first walked in through those doors at the back of the sanctuary, I was anything BUT energized.  I was the complete opposite of the Energizer Bunny.  I did not want to keep going and going.  I was like this for several months.

Until mid-October, Laity Sunday 2020, when the unthinkable happened.  The whole service was filled with scripture and prayer and a lot of music.  And if that wasn’t enough, the service ended with this… (If you wish to hear, go to this YouTube Video: https://youtu.be/bLI2SGp2Fdk?t=3528  - I tried to get it right at the exact moment you need, but if it didn't quite work, it is at 58:48 in the video.)

(I might not have physical props, but I have audible ones!)

You ever watch one of those medical shows where they use a defibrillator in order to shock someone’s heart? And the patient’s heart starts beating regularly again?

That is what THAT piece did to my energy.

If before I was the opposite of energized, I was now SUPER ENERGIZED.  Like someone who had too much caffeine or sugar or both.  But instead, music came alive for me.  And I regained my love and, okay, a bit of an obsession, of music that I had somehow lost.

Music is what energizes me and recharges me.  It energizes me in my daily life.  It helps me stay focused while working on projects at work.  It helps relax me after a stressful day.  It cheers me up when I’m sad.  It brings life back to me.

And that, in turn, has led to giving back to this church.  Yes, in a monetary way.  But also, in other ways.  It made me want to be more involved in music in any capacity possible, which was difficult at the time because we were still in 2020 where singing opportunities were limited.  But over time it led to helping lead music during services to being part of the PUMC choir. 

It also made me speak up when there seemed to be a gap because there I was opening my mouth offering to chair Church Council when I was still trying to find my way among the congregation.

Music energized me not only to be involved with music but to give back to the church in many other ways. 

I do not know if it was just the wide participation that day, or that I started to feel like part of the church family, or it was all the music that day that caused a chain reaction that ended with that organ postlude and made me almost jump out of my seat and start dancing around.  But I know it returned a love for music to me which then led to wanting to give back to the church in any way I could.  It made me a much better steward as I continued my journey as a member of this church family.

Me on 6/12/2022

 

Thursday Thoughts - The Hibiscus

If you follow me on social media or have for any length of time, you know that for the past who knows how many years, for Mother's Day I buy my mom a hibiscus plant.  This year was no different.

Well, sort of.

The past few years I have been getting mom a bush, which is easier to transport home in the car and what I learned this year was one of the reasons it would stay where we put stick the plant without having to put it in the ground.

This year I bought my mom a hibiscus tree.  Adam's (where I get all my hibiscus plants) did have bushes but I liked the colors of the trees a bit better.

Here is the problem with the tree.

When we had some really bad winds associated with fronts and things moving through,  the tree tended to fall over.  A lot.  So the tree was moved to in front of our porch where it seemed to be protected from the wind.  But didn't seem to be thriving - at all.  Before long all the leaves turned yellow and we barely had any flowers on the tree.

So I decided I would put it back where we always had the hibiscus.  But I planted it.  I dug a hole for it, put it in, and packed not just the dirt I had removed to make the hole but also some potting soil.  It started to do better.

Then I remembered something.  We get a lot of cold stuff sent to our house between medication for my dad and my niece.  The coolers that are sent always have those gel ice packs that we either save or throw away.  Well, something that came had a different type of gel pack.  If you let the pack thaw out, you could either dump the remnants down your sink without fear of it being bad for the pipes or environment or anything OR you could use it as liquid plant food.  Yes, you read that right.  Liquid plant food.

So, I used one of the packs and gave the hibiscus tree some liquid plant food.  And I am happy to say it seems to be really thriving now.

The hibiscus as of 6/8/2022

There are a lot of flowers on it.  There are no yellowing leaves.  There are buds and leaves starting to come back.

I am glad that I made the effort to plant the hibiscus.  And that I remembered about that plant food!