Monday Musings - Trying to Find Joy

 

Joy - From 12/24/2020

Yesterday if you lit an Advent Wreath, you lit the pink candle, or the Joy candle. Going to two different services at church means I got to experience it twice.  Our pastor had us contemplate Joy, in both services, as well as sharing things that give you joy. And one of the things he said was that sometimes it is hard, especially at this time of year, for some people to find the joy.  But to try to find the joy in what others find joy in.

I will admit - this is where I struggle. And, appropriately enough (or inappropriately), I struggled a whole lot with this over the weekend.

Though the end of Saturday was a great day, the start to my Saturday was not good at all. And, it probably stemmed from some stuff that was going on in my head from Friday night. My dog woke me up early, and when I say early, I mean before 7am. On a day, in fact, the ONLY day I have to sleep past 7am. And then she refused to settle down, which meant I couldn't try to get more rest. And I also wound up having to take her out again before I went out to run the errands I had planned. Plus there was some other chaos going on that started to bring me down.

By the time I got home, which wasn't really that late, I still couldn't have a few moments of peace because I had more treks outside with the dog, had to make myself some lunch, grab a shower and fix my hair, and then go to a party hosted by my pastor and his family. Which was the part of my day that actually went well.

But before that I was struggling, a lot, with finding joy. 

I have tried to not be a negative person. Or to be able to find the good in any situation. But, there are times that I am human and I do struggle to find the joy.

There was a lot of joy going on around me, at home, at church, and other places. And there are things that definitely bring me joy on a personal level. I am working on trying to focus on those things. But sometimes my brain tries to bring me down.

So I keep trying to find the joy.

Heading into Christmas is a season of joy. And yes, I realize that there are people who are not able to find the joy for reasons very different from my own. But I keep trying to find it - if not for myself, then joy for others who need it or who are experiencing it.

That's why I chose to share the photo I did on this blog entry - from two years ago. Because that Christmas Eve day was one of joy. It was one of struggles too, as I fought with a migraine the entire day while attending multiple church services and singing at them. But it was also one of joy as it was our first Christmas Eve at our new church. 

So as I look back on that day, I think about the joy of that day despite my personal struggles that day and hope it helps me find the joy today. And I think about the music we sing at this time of year. One song in particular that keeps running through my head has the words to Joyful, Joyful in it but also has a chorus where it says "Joy, Unspeakable Joy..."  With that in my head, I try to find that unspeakable joy.