It is getting to the time of year when my parents go away on vacation for two weeks to Cape Cod and I take care of the house and the family dog. And the birds. Can't forget all those bird feeders.
Anyway, I have been going through this process for the last 7 years with Harmi. The first year I took a week off and actually went away with my parents to kind of "relive" the vacations we used to take when I was a kid and my dad's parents lived there. Then I was off a couple days to readjust and then I was back to work. Then I would take a couple days off at the start of their 2 weeks away, and go in late (like 10-11am) the rest of the time.
But I slowly found myself having this irrational fear.
My fear was that I would be out walking Harmi and someone would come by and shoot me and I'd be on the ground and she would run away. Or something would happen to me while I was at work and I wouldn't be able to come home and Harmi would be wondering where I am and think I had abandoned her.
It got so bad that there were days as I was locking up the house and heading to work that I would be bawling my eyes out, vowing the next year to stay home for the entire two weeks of my parents vacation so that I could be sure nothing would happen to me or to Harmi.
(Just a side note: I thought maybe typing this all out would help me get through it. But true to myself, I started crying just thinking about all this and had to take a break just now from my typing.)
Only one time have I been able to take the entire 2 weeks off. And while the return to work was hard, it was probably the least fearful I had ever been in caring for Harmi.
Pretty soon (in just another week and couple days) my parents are going away again and I will be off the Friday they leave and the whole week following that. Here's hoping that I won't stress myself out too much when I have to go out to get groceries or I go back to work the week after my time off.
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