Wednesday's Writing - Crystal

Sometimes when you have a pastor and they are married, you get to know their spouse in some way. Sometimes not. Sometimes you get to know them better than others. Sometimes not. In my time in the Methodist church, I've experienced pastors with spouses in a variety of ways. A couple times I got to know the spouses pretty well. This was one of those times.

Crystal & I (6/27/23)

Crystal is Pastor Jody's wife. And, because of how strangely my time at PUMC began, in the midst of COVID, it actually took a bit before I figured out who Crystal was. In the early days of live streaming service, she was there, running the computer so it wasn't Pastor Jody, by himself, running things.

But what I remember most about my real first encounter with Crystal, was how welcomed she made me feel as part of a church family.

Christmas Eve 2020 was not the service type everyone hoped for, of course. (Nor was Christmas Eve 2021 for that matter.) We had three services at church that day. The first was a morning service outside, so people could gather. The last was a 10pm service, again where people could gather outside. But the middle service was a 6pm service that was strictly online. The only people in the building for the service were Pastor Jody, Crystal, our organist Stephen, and two of us to provide singing support - Sue and myself. 

After the service, it was almost like no one wanted to leave right away so everyone was kind of standing in front of the Communion Table talking. I was off to one side, kind of listening and kind of trying to decide if I should just say "Merry Christmas" to everyone and leave. Then Crystal invited me to come closer and join the discussion.

At this point in my life in the church I had just started to get involved in some things. But I wasn't really entrenched like I am now. So it meant a lot to me that she asked me to be part of the discussion among people who had already known each other for over a year.

Since then, it seems like whenever Crystal was around, we wound up finding our way to each other to at least say "Hi" and to see how the other was doing. We seem to have the same type of personality, which may be why we got along so well.

I did also get to work with Crystal in a ministry capacity, as for the past 6 months she was co-chair of our Worship committee, which I am a member of. While it didn't mean a lot of meetings, it did mean getting together sometimes to make the church look nice, especially for Advent and Christmas and then taking it all apart once the season was done.

Sometimes, which is unfortunate, when a pastor has a spouse, they just become known as "the pastor's wife/husband" and that's it. Pastor Jody talked sometimes about how sometimes he is never seen as "Jody" just as a pastor, when he is is own person. And sometimes I feel pastor's spouses can fall into that category too.

But not Crystal. She established herself not just as part of the pastor's family but someone who supported various ministries in the church. And she didn't do that because she was asked to by the pastor or because she felt it was her "job" - but because they truly meant something to her and she wanted those ministries to succeed. She made others feel welcome in a congregation. PUMC is one of the larger congregations that I have been a part of. And she made everyone feel like they were an important member of the congregation. Not just someone who was part of a huge group. But that they were an individual and part of an intimate group.

For someone who always struggled to feel like they belong, Crystal made me feel welcome. And what I think is even more impactful is that I learned from her how to make others feel welcome. And what is truly important in this world. And how to just in general be a better person.

I am so glad that even though it was for a short amount of time, that Crystal was such an important person in my life. As I continue to be thankful for Pastor Jody I am also so thankful for what Crystal has meant to me. I am so glad that God placed her in my life.