Merging is an Ongoing Journey - The Former Building

On Thursday after taking care of a few things at church before rehearsing for Sunday music, I stopped in a hallway to take a look at this picture:

A painting of the former UMC of Wappingers

I mentioned to someone how looking at the photo makes me sad sometimes.  But, as I was taking some time for myself and walking on Saturday early evening, I realized why it makes me sad.

It is not because I miss being part of that church.  Well, there are parts I miss, but what I mean is that I am very happy and at home where I am now.

It is always said that the church is not the building.  And it isn't.  But I am finding myself at times missing the building.  Very strange for someone who is a proponent that the church is not the building.  But the building holds so many memories.

Every once and awhile I have a dream about pulling up in front of the building to get ready for something.  Sometimes it is an event in the Fellowship Hall.  Sometimes it is a Yard Sale.  And sometimes it is just to be there.  

I remember things I did when I was a kid, like rolling under the pews, playing Sardines, or performing small musicals essentially.

I remember confirmation and rededicating my life to Christ.

I remember my first sermon.  Where I gave it.  How I felt.  I remember my last sermon and the tears that flowed.

I remember the kids singing the "Mother" song on Mother's Day, that could almost become the "Moth Song" if there weren't enough kids who wanted to flip letters to spell M-O-T-H-E-R.  And no matter how many years in a row we would hear that song (and we heard it a lot), it was always so adorable the kids singing and flipping letters and how the congregation would react.

I remember turning off the lights in the sanctuary for the last time.  The last walk through of the building.  Walking away from the building.

The church is not the building.  But the building holds so many memories.  But what is good about memories is that I don't have to let them go.  I just need to not think of them in a sad way.  I need to think of them in a positive light, as positive steps to get me to where I am today.

I know someday I will be able to look at that painting and think, "That is how I got here" and not be so sad about it.  But, it just wasn't Thursday.  Maybe soon.