Thursday Thoughts - 2020 Blessings

 If you ask most people, you probably would not hear the year "2020" combined with the word "blessings."  Granted, it was a hard, tough year.  I'm currently writing this as I am slowly recovering from probably the worst headache/migraine in all of 2020, including the horrific one Christmas morning.

But, I wanted to spend some time thinking of all the good that happened in 2020.

The pandemic was really bad.  Having to be separated from people, even as an introvert, was not the most fun thing.  But being stuck home for months did have some positive things going for it.

Sparkle tells me it's time to stop work (3/2020)

My job was pretty easy to transition to remote work.  There are visual and physical aspects of my job that did require an on-site presence.  I had a great team of students to help with that while I was home.  But for months, I had my constant companion Sparkle by my side while I worked.  She would wake and want to go out when I needed a break.  She would snuggle when I was stressed.  She would lean on my arm when it was 5pm and time to stop work.  I got to sleep in a bit and wear comfortable clothes.  And I had a job, which I know others couldn't say.

Jessica and I at Perkins (3/2020)

It was a time of transition, as our church in Wappingers prepared to merge with Poughkeepsie UMC.  We did have to wait months for this to complete, due to the pandemic.  BUT!  Before that, we got to spend a meal together with the faithful remnant which was full of laughter and good food.  The fact that we did that a week before things went crazy is a blessing to me.

The sign my sister had made (5/2020)

In the midst of a pandemic, working from home, and not having the usual resources available to me, I completed my 3rd Master's Degree, an MBA.  Though there was no ceremony to celebrate the accomplishment, I took the day off to enjoy what would have been my graduation day.  I received flowers from my bosses, this sign from my sister, and she also arranged a "card shower" from family and friends.

On a hike with Jessica and Anastasia (7/2020)

I got outside more in 2020.  I went on typically easy hikes alone or with my family.  I've been to Locust Grove's trails a few times, we attempted a trail at Bowdoin Park that turned out to be quite confusing and hard, went to the Walkway Over the Hudson, and I even took walks around my neighborhood.  I would not say I am an expert hiker nor one who likes super rocky climbs/paths.  But I do like to get outdoors more for walks.

My bestie Jess and I finally got to Bannerman's Island, after passing it on two trips to New York Comic Con in the summer.  It actually was one of the better times to go, because of social distancing, not as many people were allowed on the boat and thus not as many people on the island.

The day after the merger (7/2020)

Our merger finally did happen in July, 2020.  A sad time that has led to so many blessings.  I've written about them before, so I won't go into it again.  But while it was a time that I was apprehensive about, it has truly been one of the great blessings of 2020.

Outdoor worship (10/2020)

I experienced socially distant outdoor worship, which I hadn't done in a long time.  I seem to remember a summer outdoor service somewhere, when my family first attended Wappingers, but that tradition seemed to go away.  I think, though, because more people are comfortable coming to an outdoor space for worship in this time, we will see more of this.  And I am looking forward to it!

By the Marist Tree (12/2020)

The Marist Tree again lit up like a beacon of hope.  There was a virtual tree lighting ceremony instead of everyone gathering.  But, even in the midst of things being cancelled or change in light of everything going on, knowing that this tradition of lighting this tree with so many lights continues on, gives me a sense of hope for the future.

Pastor Jody preaches in the rain and wind on Christmas Eve (12/2020)

Christmas Eve was not the day I expected.  It was windy in the morning and I wound up singing.  It was windy and rainy at night and I got soaked but it was such a wonderful experience.  And it was just what I needed.

And that is not to mention being able to reconnect with my friends from high school through weekly Zoom chats, being able to be with my family through the pandemic where others were not, starting new adventures, making new friends, seeing my bestie Jess finish her Master's Degree, watching Anastasia grow and do well in school even though she is not a fan of virtual learning, learning new worship songs, rediscovering my love of music, a stronger faith in God, and many other things.

Yes, 2020 had an overabundance of bad news and bad things happening.

But for me, there were many blessings too.

Happy New Year!

Merging is a New Journey - I Belong (and it feels right)

I am an introverted person.  When I get to know you, I'm comfortable around you.  But, making new friends or even acquaintances is very hard for me.  I'm not one to just walk up to someone and say something.

So imagine being an introverted person being brought into a larger church or even a new church with only knowing a handful of people...which was what I was brought into mid-July.  I was polite to everyone, but wasn't able to connect with anyone, except the handful of people I knew already.

It was a scary place to be.  Not scary as in I didn't want to be there.  But just scary as in it was totally out of my comfort zone.  That was until mid-October.

I had been part of a small group for a few weeks and our leader, Dale, was planning the Laity Sunday service.  He asked me if I would want to participate.  I said I just really wanted to take a break and watch everyone else.  Almost a week later, he sent me a text asking if I would be willing to sing for the service.  I blogged about that experience the day after Laity Sunday so I won't go into everything.  But I firmly believe from that moment on, something awoke in me that changed me.  Of course, I had to get through the rehearsal first, which had my introvertedness on overdrive.  (Long story!)

Though I still consider myself an introvert, I would say that I am coming out of that shell more and more as I do more at church.  

Selfie with Poinsettias at PUMC 12/24/2020

So, like the above picture, I felt comfortable taking (after asking permission to take photos) this selfie to show how far I have come from last year at the same time.  I talk to people more.  I ask questions of some people more.  I'm getting more involved in worship when asked.  I'm doing more within the church.  And I have found that it feels not like I am someone new but rather as someone who has been a member for awhile and being involved in things like I did before.

A couple Sundays ago after participating in the virtual worship service, we were talking about this after church.  I finally feel like I belong.  I know I belonged before.  But, as I said, something changed inside me that turned a switch on to make me a bit braver, bolder, and more open to what is ahead.

As I sit writing this now lengthy blog entry, I wanted to say thank to you to everyone at PUMC who contributed to this.  The names and groups below are by no means the entirety of everyone, but it is a list of those at the top of my head now.

Thank you to Dale who pulled me out of the pew (where I thought I was find and happy) and into doing stuff.  

Thank you to Polly and Stephen who, through their music, got me out of a very dark and sad place.  I came to the realization yesterday that it was almost like I was dead inside, spiritually, emotionally, and musically.  Being able to hear you both on a weekly basis now has healed me.

Thank you to my small group members (Dale, Beth, Sandy P., Sandy H., Patty, and Duane...I hope I got her name spelling right!) for accepting me for who I am and welcoming me in like I had been part of the group from the beginning.  

Thank you to those who I have been in worship with in music and word for being such bright lights, an encouraging presence, and great people that I have gotten to know.

Thank you to Pam who would always check in on our family once we were in PAUSE.  

Thank you to Kaye who has always been so welcoming, in fact, since before the merger because I am sure I've seen you at many district events I was at.  (Plus, were you the one greeting us under an umbrella in July when we pulled into the driveway?  If so, you really helped me out!)

Thank you to Crystal, who also welcomed me like she has known me for as long as she and Pastor Jody have been part of the PUMC church.  

Thank you to Pastor Jody for continuing to keep me involved and being such a great pastor with messages I need to hear, that I have learned a lot from, and that I continue to enjoy.

And to all those names or groups I have forgotten, THANK YOU!

The fully lit Advent wreath - 12/24/2020

The year 2021 will be a very exciting one for me at church, I am sure.  And I can't wait for what is ahead.

Thursday Thoughts - The Fastest & Slowest Year

A few years ago I wrote a sermon entitled "The Fastest Year" which was a take on a title of an episode of ER.  A character talks about how some years go by so fast and others seem to go so slow.  The time between Christmas Eve 2019 and 2020 has experienced both going so fast and yet so slow.

Joy - in Christmas Bows; Christmas Eve 2020

Obviously the one reason we can say this year has gone so slowly is due to COVID-19.  Being in a state of "pause" for so long made days blend together and time, at least for me, to go slowly.  In the midst of all this was, of course, our church merger which was also put on pause for 4 months.  After racing through Christmas Eve and the 2 1/2 months that followed, it seemed that things were going so fast...and then they stopped and went slow once again.

Christmas (and Christmas Eve) comes and goes each year.  The year starts and it seems so far away.  But then before you know it, it is here.

Last Christmas Eve was definitely an emotional one.  The last one in a place I had known for so long.  It seemed a bit strange because for most of the Christmas Eve's, we had been at a family gathering.  But the past two Christmas Eves, we were home so I attended church.  Singing Silent Night in the dark with candles really got to me.  There were tears while I looked at my candle, while I looked at my sister with her candle, and then all the candles around the sanctuary.  They didn't last long as we then closed with Joy to the World and my sister and I sang in great harmony together.

My candle; Christmas Eve 2019

All of a sudden, it is Christmas Eve again.  And it certainly has not been anything that I expected.  It came so quickly, yet it seems like it has been so long since I last celebrated the day, sang the songs, and saw the candles.

It has been a different experience already.  And one I have been very blessed by.  I am looking forward to the remaining services today, the one I am assisting with and the one I will be attending with my sister.

I was kind of apprehensive about today.  Not because of all the things I had left to do.  But because I wasn't sure how I would react to having a huge celebratory day at church in a church that in a way is still new to me (but in other ways, is not).  But I am so very glad God saw it fit for today to be the way it has to show me I had nothing to be apprehensive about.

Merry Christmas!

Merging is a New Journey - Long Days! (Happy Memories Part 6)

There were some Sundays at Wappingers that were long days.  Though the long days were, well, long, they were also good days.  I was reminded of this when I had my first long day at PUMC, with rehearsing for worship followed by worship followed by recording a song with my sister for Christmas Eve, followed by a vocal break while another song for Christmas Eve was recorded, followed by recording 2 more songs for Christmas Eve with a group.  All said and done, I was at church for about 4 hours or so.  And it felt almost normal...or as normal as one can get now.

Sometimes long days were for Advent preparation

Long days at Wappingers are filled with so many happy memories.

These long days could take many forms.  Sometimes it was arriving to prepare to teach Sunday School, followed by worship, followed by a meeting afterwards or assisting with counting the day's offering.  Or arriving early to make sure the sanctuary was ready for church, followed by church, followed by Advent decorating, followed by counting the offering.  Or arriving early to make sure the sanctuary was ready, followed by church, followed by a lengthy Round Table meeting/discussion, followed by counting the offering.  (I arrived at church early a lot it seems!)

For sure there were also short days.  But the long days, though they were long, also were full of great memories.  Time with different people in the church.  Laughter at a meeting or while decorating.  Seeing the transformation of the sanctuary.  Pictures to share.  Memories to remember.

Another long day at Wappingers was almost a year ago, at Christmas Eve.  When I arrived early to be able to get some really great pictures before the sanctuary started to fill with whoever came to the service.  When I was able to practice and sing with the choir for the last time.  I got a selfie of me with the poinsettias, for the last time.  I have shared that particular photo before so I didn't want to repeat them...but that might have been one of the last long days I had...because though we were small, that last Christmas Eve had to be special.  And it was.  I'll have a different type of long day this Christmas Eve, attending multiple services at different times not because I have to but because I can.  And I am looking forward to the new memories I will be making.

Thursday Thoughts - I miss these naps

I used to have a magical power.  I was able to get Anastasia to sleep.  Or at least take naps.

Nap Time could be anywhere (Dec. 2016)

Weekends were made for naps.  When I would take care of Anastasia, and even sometimes when I wasn't, I was somehow able to convince her that it was time for a nap.  At home, we would sit together on the couch or she would lay on the couch.  And then I would tell her to close her eyes and I would close my eyes, and eventually we would both nap.  Her nap was usually much longer than mine.  But, there was always something very invigorating about even my short 10-20 minute nap while she took an hour (or longer) nap.

Eventually I was able to get her to nap in places that were not at home.  Like the picture above.  Or at church.  Or while walking around with her.  Home was always easier.  But, I did enjoy the times like the picture where we were somewhere else and she just went to sleep.

These are the naps that I miss though.

Now when I nap, it is like an hour or longer and I feel like I wasted part of my day.  Sometimes they are necessary naps, like when I have a migraine.  But since I usually only nap on the weekends, and my weekends are the time when I can relax and do fun things like knitting, crocheting, or reading.  So it is an hour less of doing that.

The naps I had with Anastasia were by far shorter.  They did what the long naps did...only with less time.  So I miss those naps.  And I miss the naps when Anastasia was small and was able to fit on my lap for a nap.  I miss being able to get her to nap too.

Merging is a New Journey - Candle Candle! (Happy Memories Part 5)

 

So many memories, so many topics one could discuss.  But thanks to the organist at PUMC (Thanks Stephen!!), I was able to focus in on a specific memory for this week.

The Advent Song!

For so many years, as I am sure other churches have done, after the Advent candle was lit each week, there was the singing of a verse (or more) of "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel."  However, when Pastor Dorsey was appointed to our church, she introduced us to The Advent Song (see image), found in The Faith We Sing page 2090.  Each week we would either sing the verse that went with the candle being lit, or we would sing the first verse week one, verses 1 and 2 on week two, and so on.

However, the refrain was sung every week, whether we sang one verse or more than one verse.  "Candle, candle, burning bright, shining in the cold winter night.  Candle, candle burning bright, fill our hearts with Christmas light."

It kind of gets stuck in your head.  But it is such a pretty song and it was a welcome change.  Not that "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" is a bad song.  But it is nice to be able to use that as a hymn and have something else for candle lighting.

In our family, we call the song "Candle Candle" because one day when we were out to dinner or something, when Anastasia was little, she suddenly started randomly singing, "Caaandle, Caaandle..."

So yesterday, while we were doing virtual worship, the Advent reading was pre-recorded and the pastor lit the candles (3 of them).  And while that was going on, the Advent Song was playing.  I immediately sent a message to my sister:

CANDLE CANDLE

It was such a joy to hear that song again.  It has been a couple years since we last heard it.  But it brought back such great memories.  Of Advent.  Of the church at Christmas.  Of red ribbons and white ribbons.  Of greens.  Of filling the advent candles with oil.  Of lighting the candles.  Of taking pictures week after week to use the images of the candles lit for Facebook.  Of how pretty the church was at Christmas.  Of Chrismon ornaments, ones that were made a long time ago by my dad when he taught Sunday School and new when one was made in honor of Anastasia.  Of all the candles lit on Christmas Eve.  Of singing Advent and Christmas hymns.  Of celebrating Christ's birth.

CANDLE!  CANDLE!

Thursday Thoughts - A lot of times I get it WRONG

 I had several ideas come to my mind for today's Thursday Thoughts.  I thought about writing a post about 2020, but that will be more suitable in 3 weeks (December 31st).  I've already written about music a lot.  I'm trying to stay away from church-related posts to save those for my Monday series.

What a pretty sky... 11/19/2020

So I got to thinking how a lot of the time, I get things wrong.  Very wrong.  WAAAAY WRONG!

Don't worry.  The picture I shared isn't an example of getting things wrong.  I just like to share photos because, well, they make my copied blog posts look nicer!  And, I think that is a time when I got the picture pretty okay.  Maybe not right.  But definitely not wrong!

I mostly get things WAAAAY WRONG when it comes to people.

I have a hard time figuring out when I meet people if they are nice or not.  If they are possessive or not.  If they are mean or not.  If they are real or not.  And yes, if it is a guy, if they would be interested in me or not.

I have gotten it wrong a lot of the time.

A. LOT. OF. THE. TIME.

Which results in me hurting a lot of the time.

It feels like the older I get, the harder it is to figure it all out.

I didn't have a ton of friends in school (any grade or level).  But the people I got to know who became my friends I could tell right away that they were true to how I encountered them.

But as I got older, it seemed to be harder to tell from first impressions.

There are notable exceptions.  My bestie Jess is like my twin.  We have so many of the same likes and dislikes.  Strangely enough through different means, we also have some of the same friendship circles.  And, back in times when it wasn't so strange to think about taking a train down to NYC, it was so nice to finally find someone who was like me...HATES TO RUSH TO THE TRAIN.  We both would rather have the time to eat something and then walk down and wait for the train to open so we have easy choice of seats then run through Grand Central and hope to find seats together going the right direction.

But, I was engaged to someone who I thought was nice, accepted me for who I was, and I would be happy with.  Totally did NOT see the possessive side where I couldn't do anything on my own and where I lost myself.  Also did not see the "I have to show off how smart I am and you are just so dumb" side either.

I liked someone who turned out to be really mean.  And here's the kicker.  It wasn't until just recently when I put things together and realized how mean this person was to me. 

Because, a lot of times I get it WRONG.

Unfortunately, however, that has put me in this very strange place as I am meeting more and more new people.  I like to think the best of people upon first meeting them.  And, I'd say about 99% of the time, that is the best way to go about it.  And so far, I have been right...at least as far as I can tell.  It's the 1% that I am worried about.

But I think the point is, sometimes we all get it wrong.  It just depends on how we handle it when we find out.  It is okay to be wrong because no one is right all the time. And I think I need to remind myself of that, because when I get it wrong, I really (REALLY) beat myself up over it.  Like the example above about the mean person.  I have really come down on myself for it, mostly because I didn't realize it sooner.

So...here's hoping that my discernment track record has improved (or will improve)...and while I will still get it wrong, maybe it won't be as often as it has in the past.

Merging is a New Journey - Happy Thoughts Part 4 (Souper Sunday!)

It's cold today.  And all during church yesterday so many different thoughts about today's blog entry went through my head.  But it was really cold today and it made me think, what is better on a cold day than a nice bowl of soup?  Which then got me remembering Souper Sunday.

Probably one of the last Souper Sunday Spreads

So, what is Souper Sunday?

For us, it was the first day of Sunday School after the summer break, typically the second Sunday of September.  Teachers and students were in early for their first day.  We would have worship service.  And then, as Methodists do, after service we would eat.  Oh, yes.  And for those who didn't like to come to service at 9:30am as we had been doing all summer, this was the day we went back to 11am service (Sunday School was at 9:30am).

We would have homemade soups, sandwiches (cut in halves or quarters), the best punch ever, and to end the meal, make-your-own sundaes.

It was a great time of fellowship.  Of course, good food.  And just a really fun day all around.

Over time, as with everything it seems, it got harder and harder to get kids (of any age) in Sunday School, volunteers to make soup, sandwiches, or pick up the sundae supplies from Stewart's.  So we had to ask ourselves, "Why are we doing this?"  Was it tradition?  Why had we always done it that way?  Had it lost its meaning?

As someone who participated first as a student returning to Sunday School, later as a teacher of Sunday School, and even as a congregation member, I obviously did have great times having this food after the worship service.  (Favorites being ANYONE who made an egg salad sandwich!)  So even though there were times we struggled to get help with the planning and the event itself (speaking as a former Worship chairperson who had to do the planning), I have more happy memories of this time than sad ones.

A good memory and a good event that eventually went away as things got smaller...but a memory I haven't thought about in a long time.  So I'm happy to have reflected on it today.

Thursday Thoughts - Peppermint Obsessed

 "Aunt Jenn, why do you like mint so much?" -Anastasia

A bag that stays with me

So, I have always loved mint flavors.  My favorite growing up was spearmint, and I still do like that.  But I have really grown to love peppermint.  And wintergreen is okay too.  If it is minty, I love it.  To the point where if I see something that is new and it is mint, I have to try it!

This time of year is great for me because there IS SO MUCH MINT!  Like everywhere there is mint!  Mint M&M's, Minty Candy Canes, Peppermint Bark, Peppermint Mocha coffee flavoring, mint-scented candles, Twisted Peppermint from Bath & Bodyworks, and I could go on and on.  While everyone obsesses over the Pumpkin Spice, I want to fast forward through that time and get right to the Peppermint.

Anastasia, however, hates mint.  This came to light in a hilarious moment a few years ago when I was eating Mint M&M's.  She is very good at getting people to share with her, especially if it is a sweet treat.  So, I shared half a serving of my minty M&M's with her one night after dinner.  And you should have seen the face she was making as she was eating them.  I asked her, "Is everything okay?  Do you like them?"  She says, "Yeah..." while still making an awful face while eating them.  I say, "Are you sure?  You won't hurt my feelings if you don't like them."  Her response?  "No Aunt Jenn, I don't like them.  I don't think I like mint."  At the time she didn't know how to read, so if we didn't want her to bug us for something, we would tell her it was mint.  Package of cookies?  They are mint!  Candy?  It is minty!  She can read now so we can't do that.  But, she has also grown to like the smell of mint, but not really the taste.

But me?  I am a HUGE mint fan. I always have been and I am sure always will be.

However, it got me to think about why exactly I was a fan of mint, especially over the past couple years, of peppermint specifically.

Peppermint has a ton of uses and can be considered a remedy for many things.  Just do a Google search on "uses for peppermint" and you will find a lot.  For me, it helps a lot with my migraines...both making the pain slightly tolerable but more importantly, handling the nausea that comes with them.  It is also a soothing smell and relaxes me a bit when I am randomly nervous.  And, well, it just tastes good!

Mint just makes me happy.  And I don't know if that is a good enough answer for why I like mint so much.  But it is the answer that I have.