Monday Musing - It Finally Happened!

Now, don't get too excited. It's probably a more exciting thing just for me and not anyone else.

If you have talked to me at all about how I got involved in things at PUMC post-pandemic, you will know that Laity Sunday 2020 I was looking forward to sitting in the congregation and enjoying other people doing stuff for the service and having it not be me. I never got that moment in 2020. Or 2021. Or 2022.

However, after 12 years of participating in some way (9 of those years essentially running the service) in a Laity Sunday service, I finally got that opportunity to do what I normally do in a service, but not do anything extra.

Don't get me wrong - leading or participating in a Laity Sunday service was never a burden. It was never an imposition. I enjoyed being able to share in what the people of the church have done and can do. But sometimes, you want to be able to see someone else's vision of what being the laity in a church is. And learn from it. Which is what I got to do yesterday.

I got to hear a perspective that I was familiar with and some of which I have been working with - that of our Sunday School and youth/young people. But it is important, from time to time, to be reminded that those are the people we need to ensure that they realize they too are part of the laity. Laity isn't just for adults. Or people who have done classes. Or who are in Adult Sunday School. Or who are in committees or run committees or have particular roles within the church.  I haven't really experienced it at PUMC, but there have been some places where it is encouraged to have the children seen from time to time, but never heard or hardly heard. If they make too much noise, they aren't welcome. If they wiggle around during the sermon, they're not welcome. But the children, the young people, the youth, the teenagers, and anyone above all that - they are welcome. There are things that they can do - not because it is "assigned" to them because of their age but because it is a mission and they are certainly all part of the mission field.

Random sun photo from 11/12/2023

Monday Musing - Seeing Differently

Saturday I picked up my new glasses.

Me on Sunday (11/5) with my new glasses

They have transition lenses, so I don't have to have a separate pair of sunglasses. And they are progressives, to help me with reading. A couple years ago when I got my last pair of glasses, I was told I could get progressive lenses but it wasn't necessary. Because I wanted to wear contacts as well, I opted for no progressives. And soon found that when I wore my contacts, I needed a pair of glasses (aka "cheaters" or "readers") in order to see my phone. And eventually, if my phone wasn't far enough away, I'd have to take my glasses off to see some things better. I got tired of that so figured it was about time to not worry so much about the contacts (which I wound up hardly wearing) and get the right pair of glasses to make my life a bit easier.

I adjusted to the new glasses pretty easily. It was great being able to see what I needed to on my phone without having to take my glasses off. Or not have my eyes take time to adjust to seeing things from one distance to another - which happened a lot when I would go from my phone to reading a book. I got pretty good at determining where I should look at things through the top of my glasses for distance and where it was best to look out of the lower part for reading.

Until I got to singing with choir in the sanctuary.

I struggled a bit trying to find just the right place for my binder where I could see the music clearly and where I could see the director clearly. It was a lot of moving my hand around back and forth and up and down until I got it just right - while we were singing. I'm lucky I didn't get lost!

It was a very different way for me to see - a way I hadn't encountered before, at least for a long time.

And all this got me to thinking how we can all see things differently. Or how we experience things differently.

This happens a lot with scripture. The scripture reading during church yesterday was the same scripture we reflected on in our contemplative worship service earlier in the morning. I struggled with where to go with it and jotted some thoughts and notes to myself about how I was struggling and how parts didn't really make sense to me. But then our pastor preached on it, coming from a very different angle, and things started to fall into place. Even when we in the early morning service share our thoughts, where I wind up isn't the same place where others wind up. It is never wrong. It is just different.

We see things differently. And that is a great thing.

Friday Feelings - What Memories Come Back

A Campus View 10/2023

No, the photo has nothing to do with the post. But it's a nice one, isn't it?

I often share the story of how I got into Chamber Choir in high school. This was the audition-only singing group that met after school once a week, who also did a competition on a yearly basis, typically in Virginia Beach along with the Concert Band (general band) and Wind Ensemble (audition-only band). I was in my junior year and could finally fit Chorus, every other day, into my busy schedule. We were in between rehearsing songs and as we were starting to prep for the next song, I was making a joke to a friend next to me and the chorus director asked if I would come down and sit next to her on the piano bench while we started the song.

Well, in my head I'm thinking I was in trouble and now had to sit next to the teacher while we sang because I was joking with a friend! We sang the first few lines of the song (Save the Child from Paul McCartney's Liverpool Oratorio if you must know) and then the chorus director stopped and asked if I would be willing to join the Chamber Choir. And there it was.

Fast forward a bunch of years. And I'm now in church choir. And our director is none other than my chorus director from high school. So, first, how awesome is that?

Well, do you know what happened last night?

During one of the songs we were rehearsing, our choir director comes and stands next to me while I am singing.

And every feeling and memory from that time sitting next to her on the piano bench back in high school came flying and flooding back into my head! The fear. The nerves. The hope I was doing it right because she was right next to me and would be able to tell me that I was singing it very wrong!

We remember things a lot of the time. Like when someone says something that jogs our memory. Or we are talking about how things were for us when we were in high school, college, our first job, etc. Or when sharing a connection to someone with others. I am very proud of the fact that I have known our choir director since I was in high school - she was one of the teachers that made high school tolerable! And I do like to share with others that connection.

But sometimes those memories just come back like a ton of bricks. They slam you out of nowhere. Not that it was a bad memory to do that. It just surprises you.

Monday Musing - Struggling with the "No"

About a month ago I said while sharing a post from The Single Woman that I had prayed to accept God's answer of "No" when it came to finding someone to love.

And I have been trying to accept it.

A view from Long Dock Park 7/30/2023

But when you pass a view like this a couple things become very hard.  First, it is hard to not stop and admire it and take a photo of it. Second, it is hard to stand there and not just want to share the view with someone but share it while holding someone's hand and just taking it in. Or if you are lucky to find a view with a good fallen tree or rock to sit on, to sit there with someone.

So instead I stand there in the view, and I feel the breeze, and drink some water, and I take the photo and continue on my walk. Or jog. Because yes, I did jog a bit yesterday too.

And I struggle because I thought I was working towards accepting "No." But it seems I am fighting that answer.

I don't like fighting God on things because I know I will never win. This is a tough one though. But I'm guessing since I'll be 47 in 4 weeks it is probably about time I face this fact.

It doesn't mean though I can't write about the struggle though!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Another New Appointment

Not really something one should say, but I have gotten really good at adjusting to new pastors in the United Methodist Church. In mid-2018 I said goodbye to one pastor and welcomed another, then again in mid-2019, and then again in 2020 (though that wasn't by appointment, but rather merger), and finally yet again now in 2023.

This is the way of the Methodist Church, and having been a member of one for way more than half my life, I get it and understand it, and though it is hard sometimes, I accept it.

I don't want this post to take away from my posts of appreciation I made last week. But I do think it is important to also celebrate this new time in our church.

The slide welcoming our new pastor (7/2/2023)

So, you know what?

It was a good service. It really was. We were able to continue with our contemplative service, which was great. And also gave me a bit of time before everyone started showing up to talk with our new pastor, Pastor Kregg.

Were there things that were a struggle? Sure. But isn't that the way it always goes, not just with a new appointment but even when one makes a change in how a service was done. When PUMC had to navigate COVID, there were changes in how worship was done. And when we started to gather again, more changes. And in trying to decide how best to do both in-person services and live-streamed services there were more changes. It all works out - because God is at the center of it all.

When a new pastor comes in, at least for me, it is always hard when I get the question, "How is this done during service?" I hate to respond, "Well, this is done this way and that is done that way" because each pastor is different. Not that they are going to come into a new congregation and immediately change everything so it is a completely different service. But at the same time, I want to give them the assurance that whatever they decide or however they decide to do something, it is okay and I'm there to support them.

And so I look forward to the new things I will learn from our newly appointed pastor. And hope that I can continue to share my gifts with the new pastor and his family, as I have for previous pastors.

Wednesday's Writing - Crystal

Sometimes when you have a pastor and they are married, you get to know their spouse in some way. Sometimes not. Sometimes you get to know them better than others. Sometimes not. In my time in the Methodist church, I've experienced pastors with spouses in a variety of ways. A couple times I got to know the spouses pretty well. This was one of those times.

Crystal & I (6/27/23)

Crystal is Pastor Jody's wife. And, because of how strangely my time at PUMC began, in the midst of COVID, it actually took a bit before I figured out who Crystal was. In the early days of live streaming service, she was there, running the computer so it wasn't Pastor Jody, by himself, running things.

But what I remember most about my real first encounter with Crystal, was how welcomed she made me feel as part of a church family.

Christmas Eve 2020 was not the service type everyone hoped for, of course. (Nor was Christmas Eve 2021 for that matter.) We had three services at church that day. The first was a morning service outside, so people could gather. The last was a 10pm service, again where people could gather outside. But the middle service was a 6pm service that was strictly online. The only people in the building for the service were Pastor Jody, Crystal, our organist Stephen, and two of us to provide singing support - Sue and myself. 

After the service, it was almost like no one wanted to leave right away so everyone was kind of standing in front of the Communion Table talking. I was off to one side, kind of listening and kind of trying to decide if I should just say "Merry Christmas" to everyone and leave. Then Crystal invited me to come closer and join the discussion.

At this point in my life in the church I had just started to get involved in some things. But I wasn't really entrenched like I am now. So it meant a lot to me that she asked me to be part of the discussion among people who had already known each other for over a year.

Since then, it seems like whenever Crystal was around, we wound up finding our way to each other to at least say "Hi" and to see how the other was doing. We seem to have the same type of personality, which may be why we got along so well.

I did also get to work with Crystal in a ministry capacity, as for the past 6 months she was co-chair of our Worship committee, which I am a member of. While it didn't mean a lot of meetings, it did mean getting together sometimes to make the church look nice, especially for Advent and Christmas and then taking it all apart once the season was done.

Sometimes, which is unfortunate, when a pastor has a spouse, they just become known as "the pastor's wife/husband" and that's it. Pastor Jody talked sometimes about how sometimes he is never seen as "Jody" just as a pastor, when he is is own person. And sometimes I feel pastor's spouses can fall into that category too.

But not Crystal. She established herself not just as part of the pastor's family but someone who supported various ministries in the church. And she didn't do that because she was asked to by the pastor or because she felt it was her "job" - but because they truly meant something to her and she wanted those ministries to succeed. She made others feel welcome in a congregation. PUMC is one of the larger congregations that I have been a part of. And she made everyone feel like they were an important member of the congregation. Not just someone who was part of a huge group. But that they were an individual and part of an intimate group.

For someone who always struggled to feel like they belong, Crystal made me feel welcome. And what I think is even more impactful is that I learned from her how to make others feel welcome. And what is truly important in this world. And how to just in general be a better person.

I am so glad that even though it was for a short amount of time, that Crystal was such an important person in my life. As I continue to be thankful for Pastor Jody I am also so thankful for what Crystal has meant to me. I am so glad that God placed her in my life.

Monday Musing - Pastor Jody

Sometimes a single Facebook post can't cover everything you want to say. In fact, a lot of times it can't. Unless you want to go on and on and at some point because it is a Facebook post as opposed to linking to someplace else, a reader probably tunes out. So, I have more to say than I said in a Facebook post I made yesterday about Pastor Jody and here it is - linked somewhere else that makes more sense for me to ramble on and on (and on).

There are others at PUMC who have had more time and interaction with Pastor Jody than I did. Some have had less. But this is just my story.

Pastor Jody & I on 6/2/2023

I first officially met Pastor Jody in June, 2019 at a Lay Servant Committee breakfast during Annual Conference. I knew he was being appointed to PUMC and that our church in Wappingers had started the process to approach PUMC about merging with them. I didn't say anything to him about the merger, mostly because I was still quite shy about things. And because it was my first Lay Servant Committee meeting ever.

I encountered Pastor Jody a few times after that at merger committee meetings. Then at Ash Wednesday service in February 2020, just a few weeks before our churches were to merge.

Then COVID hit and everything went haywire. The merger was postponed. But Pastor Jody kept being him and created a great online worship experience.

Still not really knowing him well, during the first couple weeks of COVID I reached out by email and asked a "BIG ASK." When COVID was happening, Anastasia was having a birthday and while she kind of understood why she couldn't have a big celebration, I know it bummed her out because she couldn't see her friends or anything - not only because people weren't getting together but because no place was open to get together at. So I asked if Pastor Jody would send her a birthday message. What I got was a great birthday video that showed his personality, whether you knew him for a day or 3 years. I was beyond grateful for that.

I'm not going to rehash everything at this point. But in July 2020 we were able to finally complete the merger process. And I think I probably gave Pastor Jody an example of the crazy type of person I was when he asked me before the first part of the service if I happened to have a Sharpie. Which, of course, I did. (And, by the way, I still make sure I always have a Sharpie somewhere on me when I'm doing church things because, hey, you never know!)

Pastor Jody taught me so much over the last three years. I learned how to be a better preacher and a better leader. I learned to be more comfortable with preaching to a camera. Because there were a few times early on when it was literally preaching to a camera with a music person or two behind me and a tech person or two in front of me. That was not really a forte of mine. But I got better at it. I also had to become more comfortable preaching and speaking to a large group of people because, well, PUMC was a much larger congregation than Wappingers was. 

I became a much more confident person, mostly, because of his leadership and example. And he became someone I could talk to about things that I struggled with. I learned that I wasn't always so crazy with my personal tendency to relate my sermons to pop culture - because he did too from time to time. 

There were moments in my leadership where I questioned myself. And I was able to talk things out with Pastor Jody. He is someone who I felt comfortable being myself with, even when that meant I was an emotional disaster area, knowing he wouldn't judge me for that but instead would provide prayer and guidance which always helped.

Pastors in the Methodist church are with us for however long they are appointed to be with us. And it is always a sad time when one leaves, especially when they make such a mark on your life. Kind of like how you get used to one Doctor on Doctor Who and then they regenerate into another person. (Which Pastor Jody would appreciate the similarity.) But I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on this particular pastor who helped me during a very hard time of merger and who made such an impact on my life.

I know going forward what God has in store for Pastor Jody and his family will be nothing short of being immensely blessed. And I know going forward what God has in store for myself and for PUMC will also be immensely blessed.

Though it was short, and I wished it would have been a little longer, I thank God for the time I have had learning all I have from Pastor Jody and his family. And I could not have asked for a better pastor to help us through a merger, to help me be a more confident and comfortable preacher and leader, and most especially to be an even stronger Child of God.

Thank you Pastor Jody.