So, yesterday was my first Church Council meeting. To say that I was extremely nervous and anxious would be an understatement. I tried to calm myself by watching episodes of Top Chef I had seen many times over, walked around my building about 10 times, and did some coloring in one of my coloring apps. I prayed too. Though I was organizationally ready, I still felt that I wasn't leadership-ready.
In the morning, before everything happened in Washington, D.C., I had written a brief devotional talking about about this idea of being ready. I didn't wind up using it because of everything going on and it did not seem to be the right timing. However, I did want to share what I wrote. Please note, I did not change the tone or address of the devotional - it was intended to be read in front of a group of people in a Zoom meeting so I left that wording the way it was. So, just read below:
Ready or Not?
In the movie “Prince Caspian,” there was a small moment that has stuck with me through the various leadership positions I have been in over the years. When faced with the potential of being King of Narnia, the character of Prince Caspian says “I do not think I am ready,” to which the character of Aslan responds, “It’s for that very reason, I know you are.”
I think this quote sticks with me because it is how I keep myself grounded with every new leadership opportunity. The closer this meeting got, the less and less ready I felt. I tried to ignore this feeling by doing other things. For my mental process, I knitted a bunch of scarves, listened to a lot of organ music on YouTube, and used a few coloring apps on my phone. For my organizational process, I set up a notebook for taking notes with inspirational stickers and labeling my book “PUMC Notes.” I bought a 3-ring binder, super sticky post-its, and put everything I needed for Church Council in it. I kept track of reports received and items to add to the agenda in my planner, which I look at multiple times a day.
But there was one very important thing that I forgot.
I forgot to pray.
Don’t worry. I do pray. When I read a prayer chain, I stop what I am doing and pray. I get up in the morning and thank God for waking me up and pray for the day ahead. At the end of the day I thank God for the day I had. I’ve started a habit where each day of the month I will be praying for either a leader of the church, so someone on this Zoom, or the group that they lead if they lead a committee or ministry. But I forgot to pray for myself.
I share this with you all to not only be open and transparent to you. But also to share that whether you are a new leader or a returning leader, whether you have the same ministry or committee members with you or you have new people, whether I may not feel ready to guide this group, or you may not feel ready to guide your own groups during this still very strange time, God knows that we are all ready for what we need to do. We will get through it with God’s help and guidance, and of course, prayer.
A peaceful image that reminds me to pray (Taken: 1/4/2021)
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