Merging is a New Journey - A Hard Day

De-consecrated & Lights Out

Saturday, July 11th was officially the closing and de-consecration service for the United Methodist Church of Wappingers.  It was full of varying emotions.  Joy to be back in the building.  Glad to see church family members (both old and new) again.  Sadness as the sanctuary went from being a holy place to worship God to just another part of a huge building.  Wondering if I could have done more to prevent this from happening.  Fear as I drove to a new place.  A sense of welcoming when someone greeted us as we pulled into the driveway of the church, waving with a huge smile on their face.  Laughter when Pastor George finally wound up taking the wireless microphone with him (it only took a year and a half).  Learning how to be "just a member" once again with no responsibilities except to sit, listen, and learn.

I had nightmares for two days of everything that could have gone wrong on that day.  The computer wouldn't work (it hadn't been touched in 4 months).  The projector wouldn't work (again, 4 months since we used it).  The slide show of photos wouldn't be allowed to be shown.  My phone battery would die during the live stream.  None of that came to fruition.

When I took some of the photos during the course of two services, there was no emotion tied to them.  The picture at the top of this blog entry was not one of those photos.  It was taken after the church had been de-consecrated, everyone had left the sanctuary, everything was shut down, and I turned the lights out.  I have taken that particular view of the sanctuary many times.  But never with the candles and Bible removed.  And never with the lights out.  It was the last photo I took at the United Methodist Church of Wappingers.

Saturday was a very hard day.  Sunday was also a bit hard.

Sunday was the first time I attended in-church worship at Poughkeepsie, my new church home.  The in-church service was at 8:30am.  No, it wasn't the early time that made it hard.  I woke up at my usual "going in to work" time, which also became my "going to church and getting everything ready" time for the last two years.  We left the house at the same "going to church and getting everything ready" time.  But, it was attending a Sunday service, where I had no responsibility.  I didn't have to get a computer going and a presentation viewing.  I didn't have to run a sound system.  I didn't have to fill candles with oil.  And I didn't have to clean out a candle lighter, which became almost a weekly task.

But it was a bit hard in that I am still trying to learn to "rest."  And Sunday I just had to go to church to learn.  Sure, it was different because of the restrictions to keep people safe as we struggle through COVID-19.  But, I am still finding it difficult to rest.  To feel like it is okay to rest.  I am sure I will get it.  Eventually.  (Though first I have to cover a couple Sundays for Beacon before I fully begin my life as a PUMC member.)

I know there is more to come.  I know there are great things God has planned for me.  And, in order to get there, you have to go through the hard things first.  And, so I shall.  And know that God is in charge.