Merging is a New Journey - It's Holy Week!

So, here we are, in Holy Week.  A year ago, we were all hoping that this pandemic would have been over and we would have been able to celebrate this time with our new church family...together and in person.  A year later, we are still in the pandemic, though there does seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

But a year later, we are still celebrating Holy Week in a different way than many of us have for years.

However, a year has gone by and this year I do not feel so useless.  Quite a comparison to last year, that's for sure!

I was part of the in-service singing yesterday, Palm Sunday.  Which meant I got to sing some great music, challenging music, and in harmony with great people.

Altar Sun. 3/28/2021 (Palm Sunday)

Palm Sunday was much different than last year, and much different than years before.  But it still both celebrated the arrival of Jesus into Jerusalem while also thinking about what will happen as we continue through the week - as Jesus continued through His week.

I am looking forward to the opportunities to learn and grow this week.

Thursday Thoughts - When Size is Confusing

I'm not talking about my size.  But rather I am talking about food portion size at fast food places.  And as I contemplated how confusing size of food and drinks can be, it made me realize another lesson as Lent 2021 comes to a close.

Last Saturday I drove down to the Croton Harmon station area to watch the sun set at a park there.  It was a nice drive down, a great location to watch the sun set, and someplace I want to go back to.  But, because of the timing of the drive, I wasn't able to have dinner at home with the family and it would be too late for me to eat when I got home.  I decided a quick stop at Wendy's for some chicken nuggets and a drink would be enough for me, especially because I had a late lunch. I ordered a set of 10 chicken nuggets and I was feeling like a lemonade, so I ordered a medium lemonade, because I figured it wouldn't be too small but not too large either.

A medium lemonade from Wendy's

So, there is my medium lemonade from Wendy's.  The size of the cup is HUGE.  Or at least, huge for a medium.  I was expecting something much smaller.

Not that I am complaining about the size.  I didn't drink the whole thing because after a certain point in the day I do need to stop drinking caffeinated and sugary drinks and switch completely to water.  So it made for a great drink the next day.  And I was pleased with the amount of drink I got for the price I paid.  But it made me think a lot about size being confusing.  Had I known this was a "medium" I might have ordered a small instead.  I brought it home and showed it to Anastasia and she said, "That's not a medium!  That's a large!"

But then you go to other places, ask for a "medium" and you get something that is the size of a child's drink.  Or you ask for a "large" and it is the size of a medium.  A snack size McFlurry looks like a child's drink with a regular size not being much larger.  Sometimes what you pay is not worth what you get.

But sometimes what you get is worth way more than you paid.

This goes for more than just food though.  We're coming to the end of Lent and I'm just thinking about how, compared to Jesus, we paid nothing for the forgiveness and grace that we receive.  What we receive is endless love from God, endless forgiveness, and endless grace.  Compared to what Jesus did, so that we could have all that, we did or paid essentially nothing.  It doesn't seem like nothing...but we didn't endure torture and give up our lives for it.  That is what Jesus did for us.

So, while the size of my lemonade shocked me, it gave me a good lesson that I needed to remember.

Merging is a New Journey - Easter Morning Pancakes (Happy Memories Pt. 8)

I decided to return to Happy Memories again, at least for this week.  It's going to seem a bit strange, the picture I share this week compared to the memory.  But it was the earliest photo I could find on my phone when I started taking pictures to share on the Wappingers UMC Facebook page...many years ago (9 years ago).

Lenten Cross - 2/26/2012

But before the time of social media.  Before the time I was a leader in the church.  Before a lot of things, I was a member of the youth group.  And for a couple years on Easter Sunday, as a fundraiser I think, we would do a pancake breakfast that was held between the Sunrise Service and the Traditional Service on Easter Sunday.

I got to thinking about this yesterday as Pastor Jody was listing all the Holy Week services, including our in person Sunrise Service at 6am.  I haven't thought about the pancake breakfasts in a long time.  But maybe I'm reflecting on it more because my parents are getting on in age...and it was a time when I worked side-by-side with my dad, using his recipe for pancakes, making tons of pancakes for people to eat, and then later we cleaned up after everything.

One of the hardest parts, though, was that some people liked to help between the services, but once the regular service started at 11am, all the help disappeared even if there were still a ton of dishes to take care of.  I always stayed behind (with my dad) to continue to clean up...because, you know, no one in their Easter best was going to help us after service - everyone had to get home for a celebration, us included!  (Easter Sunday was always a trip to my mom's parents for dinner.)

But even with the hard parts, the great memory was making the pancakes and working with my dad to do so.  And being able to help in that way.

We only did this for a couple years.  And I remember the tired feeling.  Even though there won't be any pancake breakfasts and there haven't been in a long time, it is making me want to be up for Sunrise Service this year, so we will see how that goes.

Thursday Thoughts - Traveling for Sunsets

Yes, yes, I know I blogged about sunsets last week.  But, most of my sunset pictures as of late have been local, either at my job or a location nearby.  Sometimes I consider, for a change in pace, of going somewhere a bit of a distance away where I know I can get good views of the sun setting.

One place is an hour away, at the border of New York and Pennsylvania.  You drive up this huge mountain basically and there is one of those "rest stops" where all you can really do is stop your car if your car needs a break, get out and stretch your legs, and if you have a dog, you could take them for a walk.  I can't remember if there were places to eat, but probably now not so much.  The view overlooks a valley but I have gotten some decent sunset or almost sunset pictures there.

Another place is Croton.  I've taken the train numerous times down to the city and back and always pass this view.  It is so beautiful whether it is sunny, cloudy, bright, or dark.

Sunset at Croton October 2017

The picture shared is over 3 years old, but the view is still just so amazing.  I want to try to capture that same feeling, view, and picture without getting it from a moving train.  Kind of amazing that I managed to get that while the train was moving.

I get this feeling to travel after I have had a particularly hard or tough week.  Not that this is a particularly hard or tough week in general.  But I have had 2 very (very) early days...in at work by 4:30am...while working with vendors, plus night meetings or classes every night, well except for Friday but I'm not there yet.  So it has made I guess for a long, long week.  So I'm thinking Croton may be just the place to go.  But we will see as the day plays out.

You know, I should say thank you to all those who week after week read my ramblings about my merging journey and my Thursday thoughts.  Even if you don't comment, I'm sure they are being read and if anything, brought a bit of laughter to your day because I know I definitely say some very wacky things!

Merging is a New Journey - Pandemic 1 Year Later

I'm bringing back a favorite picture....

First Worship Service at PUMC! (3/15/2020)

So here we are, one year later.  A year after we were officially in a pandemic.  A year after churches couldn't worship in person.  A year after we were supposed to be merged and attending our first in-person service at PUMC.

But the merger service didn't happen.

We had already had our last worship service.

So we were slightly adrift.

Even though the merger was still in process, I think most of us did what I did...attended online service via YouTube at PUMC.  And remained doing that (until Zoom became part of the mix and some of us probably switched it up) until mid-July, 4 months later, when things became more official.

So much has changed in the last year.

I have made new friends.  I am doing familiar yet new things.  I have gotten and continue to be involved as best as we can in these times.  I thought I would be alone, but I am not.  I thought I would be forgotten about, but I am not.

Things have changed in the world itself too and I have come to appreciate doing things like walking outside more. 

It was not the year I expected, nor was it the year anyone else expected.  It was the year we were given though, and we just had to make the best of it.  Which I think we have.  And I continue to do so.

Thursday Thoughts - Sunsets

So, I've been sharing a lot of pictures lately of the sun setting.

Near the border of NY & PA - A long time ago

Seeing or watching the sun set brings about various emotions but also helps in bringing about some peace to my day.

There is no denying one of the emotions that I have is one of thankfulness that I am able to find places to see the sun set and also the ability to take pictures so I can always reflect on the beauty of this from God.  

Another emotion is this strange sadness because I often see these sunsets alone, and I just really want to share them with someone else.

But what fills me the most is just that sense of peace.  That becomes related to the thankfulness.  I am able to just get out of my head for awhile when I watch the sun set, no matter where I am.  I've seen them at Marist's campus.  I've watched it while riding the train.  Last week I braved the VERY COLD to head down to the Beacon train station because you can get close to the water and see the sun set.  The picture I shared above was when I would drive out to the border of New York and Pennsylvania - just about at the top of a mountain, where you overlook a valley and the sun sets behind another mountain.   I may have to go back there this weekend.

In this time when people are stressed, worried, and whatever other feelings they may be having, isn't it nice having something you can watch and just get away from everything else, even if it is just for a few minutes?  I think so at least.

Merging is a New Journey - A Reflection

So, last year by this time I was having basically brunch with those who remained at Wappingers.  Plus a past pastor who came back to be with us.  Yes, 1 year ago today was the last worship service at the United Methodist Church of Wappingers.

Little did we know, at that time, that our plans for merger would be postponed by 4 months due to the pandemic.  Not sure how it affected everyone.  Was it like putting off the inevitable?  Or helping us deal with the grief?  Or giving us more time to reflect?

What I do know, is that even though we are still living in the pandemic world, so much has happened in the past year.  At least for me.

My Thank You Slide on my Photo Journey

So, I did what I like to do, I made a video of photos.  Much like the one I created for our merger service, I used photos that I meant something to me in my journey at Wappingers and over the past year doing things related to PUMC.

I'm trying to get out of my head.  I still struggle with feelings of failure.

But I am glad to say that I am very happy with where I am now.  I love my church family.  I enjoy all the things I am doing and how I am involved.  So I am not sad about that.  I am so happy that I was able to reconnect with people and make new connections.

So while there may be sad attachments to today for me, please know that I am focused on the future.  I am blessed to be where I am.  And I can only hope for even more in the future!

P.S. - If you are not a Facebook friend and you read this and want to see a copy of my photo journey, let me know!  Or if you want to access a copy off of Facebook, let me know that too!

Thursday Thoughts - Depleted

A note, this was the devotional I shared with Church Council last night, so it is worded as such.  However, it is also something worth posting for others to see as a Thursday Thought.  Because I think it is still on my mind.

Sunset 2/27/2021 - Something that also replenishes me

“Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  - Isaiah 40:28-31 (NRSV)

I’m going to admit something to all of you, and I hope you don’t mind.  The past two months I have written the brief devotionals that I started the meeting with.  Not for any other reason than I felt like whatever I was sharing would be more connected with all of you as my church family than something I just pulled from a devotional book or found online that I thought was nice.  Last night, however, I was driving home after our Small Group Zoom gathering, and started to think to myself, “I haven’t even thought about what to write for tomorrow’s meeting!  I’ll just find something from home.”

And as I thought about what book to look through to find something for today’s meeting, a very exuberant organ version of “Joy to the World” came on my playlist (because I listen to all music in all seasons) and the following word came to my mind:

Depleted.

Joy to the World and Depleted are about as far apart as any two words can be.  But go with me for just a minute.  I am currently on consecutive work day 10 of 12, which may be why I had to email my thoughts on this before I lost them and could write them this morning.  Some of those days have been just regular days.  Others have been quite painful based on the work I did.  Some have been dehydrating because talking loudly in a space with the worst acoustics ever behind a plastic protective barrier while wearing a mask for 4 hours straight does that to you.  And those days left me depleted.

Not tired.  Not exhausted.  But depleted.  Lacking energy and inspiration to go on.  Why?  It could be because I was so busy.  Or because I was stressed.  Or because I keep having memories crop up of a year ago today (and yesterday, and 3 days ago and tomorrow and next week).

When you are depleted of something, you need replenishment.  If you are hungry, you need food.  If you are thirsty, you need something to drink.  When I am dehydrated, I drink things with electrolytes because I know my body needs those things.  My headaches caused by dehydration always go away when I drink coconut water.  We replenish our bodies of things they need.

But how do you replenish yourself when it is depleted from everything else going on around you?  For many of us it would likely include prayer and reading the Bible.  For me, I started to feel replenished when “Joy to the World” came on my playlist.  And, I am happy to say, gathering with any group of church people, is also the replenishment I need.  Even if it is a meeting – it replenishes my soul.

Our days may be long and times may be stressful and we may be tired, stressed, exhausted, and depleted.  But sometimes being together in some way, whether in person or via Zoom is the replenishment we need.

Merging is a New Journey - The Emotions are Coming Back

Yesterday many emotions hit me all at once.  During church while I was doing tech.  Which was great because then everyone saw me cry.

Eyes after tears overwhelmed them

Let me first say that I am very happy where I am.  I have reconnected with people and made new friends.  I feel "at home" in groups and meetings.  I once feared always being on the outside and looking in, but do not really feel that way at all.

So it shocked me when memories of 2020 and where I was then came flooding back to me.

I know I constantly talk about the music, but yesterday the music really made me happy.  A lot of stuff that made me want to jump around and dance.  (I restrained myself.)

The sermon really got to me.  Which is when my tears started.  I don't know why it hit me the way it did.  And then it got worse when I spent time in prayer.  Which was great because it is not the easiest thing in the world to deal with tears in a mask!

And then the anthem was so nice, and the last hymn, and the postlude.

And then I was crying again.

The emotions and memories are coming back.  I sometimes wish they wouldn't because I feel and I know I am in a better place now.  But they come back just the same.  

Other things are going on with me that I am thinking about, and that may be part of why I am so emotional.  Things I don't talk about, ever.

I know I need to stop looking back and dwelling on the past.  History is good and important.  But so is the present and the future.  And I need to look ahead to that.