Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Coming Home

I've often talked about the feeling of home and being where I belong at church, which, even almost 2 years later still feels a bit new from time to time.

But, after being away for two Thursday rehearsals and a Sunday service, I was ready to be back among everyone.  My first opportunity was Saturday for a special Comfort and Joy service.

Altar before all the candles were put out

This service has been called in the past and in other places "Blue Christmas" - a service to help others who are struggling to find hope and joy during the season.  I was asked to be part of the prayer team who would be available...but in reality it was a service that helped me find the hope and joy that I discovered I had missed because of everything that had gone on in my life personally.

Anyway, I was very apprehensive about returning.  But as soon as I walked into the room where everyone was, the first words I heard were "Welcome Home!"

And boy did I feel like I was home!

This particular service was a nice way to get back into the swing of things.  Especially with Christmas and being part of multiple services coming up very quickly.

And when I came back on Sunday, I still felt like I was coming home and seeing people who, truthfully, I had only not seen for about 10 days or so...but it felt like much longer!

So I returned home...to the familiarity....and it felt great!

Sorry for the short entry this week.  I'm also readjusting to returning to regular life outside of my house and some things are still very crazy.  But it will all work out!

Thursday Thoughts - Being Grateful in Tough Situations

So, this is something I haven't really talked about at all.  But knowing and realizing just how loved and cared for I am along with my family, I thought I'd talk about it.

I have been stuck home after testing positive for Covid.

I have felt fine the entire time, and hopefully by the end of Friday I will have completed my quarantine period and I can leave my house.

After receiving the results, it threw me into a great depression.  I was so sad for a number of reasons.  And I felt like I should shut out the world because I figured I was this person who no one would want to be around because I had tested positive.  I wrote to a couple people saying I was feeling almost like a leper because who would want to be around someone who tested positive?  Or who was in quarantine, even though I would have been officially released?

But then emails and text messages came in from people who wanted to make sure I was okay.  And I realized, just because I couldn't leave my house it didn't mean I needed to shut down.

Morning Sky 12/15/2021

And I certainly shouldn't let it stop me from taking photos!

But I also realized that there were so many things I was grateful for during this tough situation:

- That I had so many friends (who are more like family) who cared to check in on me!  Whether it was once and awhile or every day, it all meant and continues to mean so much to me!

- Also that technology has advanced so much that I could still go to church via a live feed.  And that we could order food and have it delivered through the numerous types of apps out there.  And things that let us order supplies from stores and have those delivered too.  I know so many people offered to bring stuff or pick stuff up for us.  But having this technology available was a good thing too.

- That I had a friend who text me every day to make sure I was okay.  Unless I text her first!

- And a friend who sent me funny videos every day by email so I would laugh until I was released.

- And a friend that checked in via email and I would also email and text sometimes too.

- That people continued to pray for us all as we healed and then returned to regular life.  (I'm almost there!)

- That someone recognized something was up when I didn't update my blog as I usually did.

- That when I would talk about returning to things, people expressed genuine excitement over it and not what I was fearing, that no one would want us back for awhile even if we were cleared.

- For the sunshine and beautiful daytime and nighttime skies that I experienced from my back door when I would let Sparkle out.  It's been awhile since I saw a proper sunset but the views from the back door have been nice.  

- That no one got too severely sick and everyone seems to have recovered well.

- That I was still able to do all I do.  And able to readjust my sleeping schedule so I'm sleeping better now, which overall is a great thing.

There is probably more - but that is what I have for now.

I am so grateful for everyone during this past couple weeks of crazy.  I am so blessed to have all of you in my life!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

So, I had to stay home from church this week.  There are a lot of reasons why and I am not going to go into them.  Suffice it to say, the past week and a half has been a little on the crazy side.

For someone who has been so involved in being part of worship, it was very hard, almost upsetting, because I could not be there.  Sure, you may say sometimes you need to rest.  But there are other people who do other things and work way harder than I do who don't get a break, so why should I?

Anyway, I had a break away.  And parts were hard.  Really hard.

But I am really glad that we continue to use the technology employed (and improved upon) that was used so heavily during the pandemic when no one was able to come to church to be physically present in worship.

Sparkle and I during church 12/12/2021

By the way, yes, I was singing along!

But I still had a sense of missing out, a fear of missing out on something that you get when you are in person but not necessarily watching online.  The feel of the music, the atmosphere, the people who are there...

I know I couldn't help it.  And I was where I needed to be.  And I am beyond thankful that I was able to not completely miss out and attend service virtually.

But I can't wait until next week when I can be back!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - First Day of Advent

For some reason I had a photo chosen for today's entry, but not really a subject I wanted to talk about.

The first snow - 11/28/2021

Then I thought about the photo I wanted to share, the first snow of the season...that also happened on the first Sunday of Advent or the first day of the church liturgical year.  And I said to myself, how appropriate!

Okay, the snow wasn't that significant.  But it was how I liked it.  On the grass.  On the trees.  A bit on the cars.  Some on the driveway.  But the roads were fine.  Nothing that would be too dangerous to drive through.

There is just something special about that first snow, no matter how much it is.  And there is just something special about that first Sunday in Advent, no matter how many times you have experienced it.

Last year my sister and I lit the first candle on the Advent wreath.  This year we watched as Pastor Jody lit the first candle during the Message for the Young and Young at Heart.  Then we sang the Advent Song!  Such a great memory of that song!  But I'm glad we are making new memories with that song.  We, however, missed Come Thou Long Expected Jesus.  So I've been listening to a couple videos with that song on my YouTube playlist to make up for it.

Advent always is a time to think about the birth of Jesus.  There are many things that we hear year after year that may make the experience mundane over the years.  But my hope is that this year I will find something new to cling on to.  The hope of Jesus coming.  

It may not be a secret, but I feel like I have been in a constant state of stress.  I haven't quite figured out why.  Every time I think I have it figured out, something else triggers it.  My hope is that during this time of Advent, looking at it through an ongoing journey lens, that I will find the solution to the stress so that I can enjoy the season and everything it brings.

Thursday Thoughts - Happy Thanksgiving!

What's interesting, as I write this a day ahead of Thanksgiving, is that looking at last year's entry, I am still thankful for many of the same things.

So I share that here below....

Thankfulness in 2020

With the following updates and additions...

• My church family in 2021, since that is the year we are in. 
• The continued love for all things music, especially organ music, and the time I have shared hearing it.
• Safety through some unexpected travel, and events happening during travel over the summer
• The beautiful and interesting skies and other nature things I have seen and been blessed to take photos of.
• Finding ways to combat dehydration, especially while singing.
• And the growth of my singing.
• And probably other things that I have forgotten about.

Here's to finding more things like this!

 I wish you all a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Merging is an Ongoing Journey - Being Alive!

I struggled with a subtitle for today's entry because it is going to cover a few things, all of which were part of my Sunday.

I have also been struggling with masks and robes.  We have to wear masks to sing, which I understand and accept.  Robes have now become part of choir and I accept that too.  (And I'm glad that I'm wearing a robe I'm comfortable with!!!)  But, for someone who is always on the warmer side, I have been struggling every Sunday with getting overheated which results in pretty nasty overheated and dehydrated headaches.  First it was just because of the masks and then the robe added to it...even though it was getting cooler outside, the sanctuary tends to retain the warmth.  A good thing when it gets really cold. But for me, I have to find ways to keep myself cool!

Last week in an attempt to combat dehydration I tried some Gatorade Frost before and during the service.  My usual go-to drink when I'm dehydrated is coconut water, but it tends to gunk up my throat and that makes it hard to sing.  Gatorade doesn't do that, and while I typically hate the extra salty taste in Gatorade, Gatorade Frost isn't as bad.  It did help a bit.  (While also wearing a not-heavy tank top under my robe.)  This week I tried a new mask (made for athletes so better for breathing) and more Gatorade.  And it helped SO MUCH!  I felt GREAT after worship.  No headache or anything!!  

Because I felt so great, I stayed to help sort through a big pile of music.  And spent some time with a friend.  Then headed home for a bit before going to a Thanksgiving service at the Bangall UMC location.

And then I did something I haven't done in a long time. I sang really loud with a worship song.  While waving my free (non-steering wheel) arm around.

Don't get me wrong, I sing a lot in the car.  I sing my warm ups when alone on the way to rehearsal or Sunday service.  I sing because I feel like it.  But I just sing at a normal volume.

But this song came on...and I couldn't help but turn it up loud and sing REALLY REALLY LOUDLY with it.

This song is a Christian version based on the original song, "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen.  There's a good video someone posted of Lincoln Brewster playing this song live, explaining how he came up with the alternate lyrics.  But this version has always been a favorite of mine since I heard it on his live album.

And it just hit me yesterday, as I was driving along the Taconic, Maybe it was because I was going to a Thanksgiving service.  Maybe it was the view.  Maybe it was the earlier part of the day.  Or the things I had done or heard that made me happy.  Maybe it was that I was feeling really good on a Sunday afternoon, which hasn't happened in awhile.  Or maybe it was everything combined.  I have a feeling it might have been that last thing.

Whatever it was, I was having my own worship session with God and I can't help but think it was some part of my ongoing journey and I am really glad that it happened!  It made me appreciate and to be thankful for the entire day!  I definitely hope I am blessed with many more days like that!

Thursday Thoughts - Always Music

Yes, yes, I have talked about music before.  But I've been contemplating more about music lately.

Also, I have/had this set of those magnetic words you can create random sentences.  I had bought them for a file cabinet I had and used them for awhile until I really no longer have much access to the metal part of the cabinet.  Though I did just figure out a way to do that.

The other day I was looking at my file cabinet front (that I don't see unless I walk up to it) and found what I had put on there years ago...

I would say, in most cases, that is me today.

You can always tell when I am really bad off.  I won't listen to any music.  At all.  There is always music on in my car, except if I'm at a drive through window because I think it's rude to be playing music while you are trying to order something and then deal with the workers.  I do also turn off (or down) my music when I am at the last leg of a trip to a new place that I am using a map program to get to.  Just so I have better concentration on where I am going.  Because I have been known to be singing along to a song and forget to take a turn I needed to take - and that is to a place I am familiar with!  But if I drive home and there is no music, you know something is wrong.

Similarly you can tell when things are great.  Because the music will be loud and it will be accompanied by me singing along.  Even if there aren't words, I sing the notes played.  Loudly.

Always music.

So much so, that starting in January I will be beginning a new adventure.  Yes, it is educational.  No, it is not another Master's Degree!  It is, however, a Certificate through the Institute for Discipleship run by BeADisciple.com in Music Ministry.  The program is a series of 3 6-week courses (with breaks in between) and then a 12-week practicum, and another break with one final 6-week course so I can add the United Methodist emphasis.  And I am so excited about it!

Always music.

Though there are times when I can't seem to get out of my head, I should always know that music is a great healer.  Those times when I seem to refuse to listen to music because I don't think I should listen to it - I should just listen anyway.