Merging is An Ongoing Journey - Things Still Hit Me

I want to start this one out by saying, this entry doesn't take away from the joy and love I feel as a now merged member of PUMC.  I am so happy I am where I am for a variety of reasons.

But sometimes, things hit me.

The other day my sister told me that the new owners of our church building had taken away all the playground equipment.  Yes, I know new owners are going to have their own vision and they absolutely have every right to do what they want.  I'm okay with that.  And, at first, I was okay with it.  It didn't really phase me.

Then on Friday I drove by the old church building and I saw the lack of playground equipment with my own eyes.  (Mostly because I was stuck where I could see it while waiting for someone to make a left-hand turn.)  And it started to make me sad.

Healing Service Altar 1/2013

I chose to use this image from many years ago because, even though things are still hitting me, I know that means healing is still going on.

There has always been some reminder of the presence of children at that place for as long as I have been there - and I'm sure for many (many) years before that.  But for whatever reason, there no longer being a playground really felt like it was erasing kids from the memory of that place.  It was erasing kids presence overall.

That may not be reality, but that is what was going on in my head Friday night as I drove by.  And it made me sad.

Things still hit me from time to time, even in the midst of all the love, joy, happiness, and peace I am feeling.  And I guess that will keep happening from time to time.  The object, is, I guess, is to yeah let it hit me.  But know I can move forward and not let it bring me down as I continue forward in my now not-so-new church home.  I may write about these things from time to time.  But hopefully less and less things will make me so sad and instead just bring back happy memories.  Like discovering the 2006 Palm Sunday cantata and hearing many familiar voices.  Or finding a phrase in an old report I had written that I could use in a current report I am writing.  And maybe I'll start sharing some of those memories, the ones that make me smile instead of cry.

But for now, I'll work on the healing from my Friday and go from there.